Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Powerlines: Week 4 NFL Power Rankings

I would say that she looks wistful.

Another week goes by, and the Broncos remain undefeated. If they can make it five and 0 this Sunday, expect a big leap, but for now, I remain merely cautiously optimistic. One thing that can be said with certainty is that there certainly is an NFL lower class, the bottom of the rankings are ripe with no hopers. The top is harder to sort out, but certain teams have fully proven their suckitude. At the quarter pole of the season, here is how I see where the power lies.

1. Saints – The defense looks better than expected, and you never know when the offense will explode for fifty. The Saints appear to be loaded.

2. Colts – Peyton Manning might just be the best quarterback to ever live. That’s not easy for me to say as a cardholder in the John Elway fanboy club.

3. Giants – While many list this team at the top of their power rankings, I feel like they can be had. Their defensive line is legendary, and the Giant Steve Smith is trying to render that guy down in Carolina as “the other Steve Smith” however, I refuse to believe that Eli can be completely trusted.

4. Vikings – The Vikings won that game Monday Night because their defense was swarming and the Packers offensive line was close to non-existent. Favre had a nice game, but if I’m a Minnesota fan I’m nervous that in about six weeks his late season swoon may begin. It’s easy to trust Brett in Week 4, The Vikes should be worried about Week 14. I am not saying it’s impossible he stays strong all year, only saying that hasn’t been his trend the past few years.

5. Patriots – How can you call yourself a man and whine and point to the officials for a flag when someone barely brushes up against you? If I believed in karma, I’d say a huge injury was headed Tom Brady’s way. I don’t believe in Karma so I’m not saying that, but his antics on Sunday were embarrassing.

6. Ravens – I’ve gotta believe that the Ravens defense wants another crack at the Patriots. The way both teams are playing, they may just get their wish. Oh, and Joe Flacco has been a total stud so far this season, no sign of a sophomore jinx just yet

7. Steelers – Pittsburgh remains as enigmatic as ever, as every time I think they have it all put together, they have a stinker of a game like the loss in Cincy, and every time I think they are falling apart they take apart a team like the Chargers. This team baffles me.

8. 49ers – Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and this offseason he decided to give San Francisco an NFL team, which is nice because they had gone so long without one.

9. Bears – Contrary to the rumors you may have heard, Joe Forte is not dead. It just took a Lions’ visit from Detroit to wake up the running back and have him produce his first solid fantasy numbers of the season.

10. Eagles – Now is a good time for Donovan McNabb to slowly work his way back into the lineup, as there will not be a lot of heavy lifting required in the next few weeks, not with the lowly likes of Tampa, Oakland, and Washington on the docket the next three games for the Iggles.

11. Chargers – All that glitters is not gold. The Chargers look pretty, but they have been pretty ordinary to this point of the season.

12. Jets – A little turbulence for the Jets in New Orleans, but they have one of the easier looking schedules in the NFL, and I believe that they remain solidly on course for the playoffs.

13. Falcons – In a weekend that is light on must see games, Falcons at Niners is actually a Jim Dandy. Atlanta has had two weeks to lick their wounds from New England, and fresh from they bye they should provide a good test to the team that Old Saint Nick delivered to the bay.

14. Bengals – I know Chad Ochocinco has his detractors, but I find his antics to be fun when he is doing well. Buying front row seats for Bengals fans in Green Bay so he has a safe Lambeau Leap spot is fun and brilliant. I know a lot of people tell him to stop having fun and bringing attention to himself, but we already have far too many unfun NFL players, I’m glad he’s doing well thus far and that he is being his obnoxious self. It’s fun, and it’s good for the league. The No Fun League has earned that moniker, and it’s nice that some players are able to escape the black hole of boring. I say, “Play on playa!” (Yes, I know I’m too white to pull that off, but pretend someone cool is saying it.)

15. Broncos – This may be the high water mark for the Broncos this season, as I could easily see them losing their next four and falling back to .500, but the early season success has proven that Josh McDaniels has a pretty good idea of what he’s doing. No matter how the rest of the season turns out, the man has won my respect.

16. Packers – Monday night versus the Packers was one of the worst offensive line performances I had ever seen. Aaron Rodgers is a pretty good quarterback, but I think it’s safe to say he doesn’t do he best work when he is running for his life.

17. Cowboys – Tony Romo is one of my favorite NFL players, but I gotta say he is capsizing the Cowboys season. If only Wade Phillips were still alive and knew how to coach a quarterback, perhaps this could be averted.

18. Dolphins – I think a main reason that the Phins are the captains of misdirection and wacky wildcat formations is rather simple. They lack the talent to beat you straight up, and are trying anything to get an advantage. In one way, it’s admirable that the coaching staff is trying to innovate to cover up their wants, in another way, it’s rather sad how low the talent level truly is.

19. Cardinals – Is it too early to say that the playoff run was a fluke? Yes, it is, but Ken Whisenhunt had better have cooked up some good stuff over the bye last week, as the 1-2 NFC Champs need a spark.

20. Texans – Another team that is just plain hard to figure out. They may be terrible, they may make the playoffs. Who knows?

21. Jaguars – Will Jacksonville go into their bye at 4-2? The Jags aren’t that great, but with upcoming games versus the Seahawks and Rams, it’s not out of the question.

22. Seahawks – Thumping the Rams 28-0 on opening day feels oh so long ago for the fans in the Northwest. Seneca Wallace has proven two things in Matt Hasselbeck’s absence. One: He doesn’t look great in snot green, and Two: He isn’t a very good quarterback.

23. Bills – Looks like Buffalo is going to go the entire decade without a playoff experience. That isn’t easy to do, as almost anyone can back into ONE accidental Wild Card season.

24. Redskins – How much longer can Jim Zorn be head coach in Washington? One can’t imagine that Dan Snyder is pleased with the current team, and it isn’t like Danny is known for his remarkable patience.

25. Titans – After starting last season at 10-0, it’s starting to get fun to see how many losses they will begin this campaign with. Quite a freefall from grace in Tennesee.

26. Panthers – One can imagine John Fox roaming the sidelines and Slightly mis-quoting Richard III by yelling, “A Quarterback, a quarterback, my kingdom for a Quarterback!”

27. Raiders – Al Davis has devised a very complicated method of ranking players which will clearly show you how the Raiders should be number one in my NFL power rankings. I’m sure he’d be happy to show it to anyone who isn’t already convinced that he’s a looney.

28. Buccaneers – Weird year for the Bucs. Raheem Morris is not drawing rave reviews, and at last year’s draft they spent their number one pick on a quarterback named Josh Freeman, but when Byron Leftwich crapped the bed, they went to some OTHER guy named Josh at QB. Strange.

29. Lions – How many more games do the Lions have to win to have this season declared a success in Detroit? One? Two?

30. Browns – Everyone is praising the Bengals for going for it on 4th and 11 in the Final minute of OT against the Browns, but I don’t see it as that great of a risk. You have to go for it then. The worst that could happen is that you give the ball over to the Browns just shy of midfield, what is the percentage chance that the Browns actually move into scoring position to win a game? Do they even make numbers that small?

31. Chiefs – The Chiefs are sad, so very very sad…

32. Rams - …and yet the Chiefs are by far the best team in Missouri right now. How pathetic are the Rams?

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