Monday, March 29, 2010

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 44 - The Green Bay Packers Might Save Your Life!

In keeping with the recent form, I promised to deliver the, "Who can you make fun of now?" segment, and then promptly went the whole show without actually telling you. Although I did get in a story about how the Green Bay Packers saved a man's life. We also did a Magnificent 7 list of the Seven greatest teams that no longer exist.

The Ed called in and shared with us his list of teams that no longer exist including the Washington Watermelons and Houston Afros...I'm pretty sure those teams never existed, but it was fun to hear Ed expound upon mythical teams. Ed also called in to show us how he can change his voice to be deep and scary when he does prank calls. Pretty intimidating to get a call from that version of the Ed.

The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation was "How it Ends" by DeVotchka.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I Would Do Anything for Lunch (But I Won't Do That!)

Have you ever thought about taking Meatloaf's song, "I Would Do Anything for Love" changing all the lyrics to be about food, and recording yourself singing a new version? Well, now you don't have to, because I've done it for you. I guess you can cross that off your to-do list, which is nice because, "Hey! One less thing."

Monday, March 22, 2010

How to Make a Movie Trailer 101. Awesome.

Blogger being lazy, trying to pass off someone else's video content as somehow connected to his own work...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 43 - I Would Do Anything for Lunch (But I won't do that)

Elevation Radio's ( own John Klein called in to chat about basketball and Survivor on the show this week.

Face Ventura and the Whale also joined in the fun as we talked, among other things, about how most of our brackets were in shreds after 2 and a half days of Madness.

Episode 2 of Doug on Demand had Doug screaming "NO!!!" to news of Brady Quinn becoming a Denver Bronco along with him confessing that he would like a Colorado Rapids license plate.

VSR debuted the full version of "Anything for Lunch" the parody of Meat Loaf's "I Would do Anything for Love (but I won't do that)"

Plus, an unlikely person gets ticketed for being a Wanker on "The Week in Wankery" We ran out of time, so the Music Recommendation got pushed to next week. Although, how can you go wrong with, "Anything for Lunch"?

Friday, March 19, 2010

I can feel it coming in the air tonight. So hold on, already.

Phil Collins and an ape? I'm sold. Here is your video goodness for today!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Ram vs. Dog - Because it made me laugh

Brady Quinn is a Denver Bronco

Welcome to Denver, Mr. Quinn.

Wow! It's March and unexpectedly there is Denver Broncos news. The Cleveland Browns have decided that three years with Brady Quinn, Medicine Quarterback is enough. They have shipped him off to our lovely city in exchange for a bag of medicine balls and a few lift tickets to Aspen Basin.

Okay, the Browns actually traded Peyton Hillis, a sixth round pick this season and a conditional pick next season to get Quinn. I actually liked Peyton Hillis a little (and apparently a lot more than Josh McDaniels did), but losing Hillis and a couple of very low draft picks seems like a very low price to pay for a guy who was considered a first round quarterback talent only three years ago.

Searching for Brady Quinn leads to lots of shirtless images.

I Googled Quinn to try and get an idea of what we're getting beyond the limited basis of what I knew him as which was a failed NFL quarterback from a proud college football tradition. A few things stick out from this search. 1. Brady Quinn apparently never wears a shirt outside of a football field. Seriously, do a Google image search...the man loves to go topless. I half expect to see him arrive in Denver shirtless and do his entire introductory press conference flexing his pecks. So that's disturbing. 2. His stats aren't pretty...his career 66.8 passer rating pretty much speaks for itself. 3. I had forgotten how much I loved to mock him for his "Now I'm done" EAS commercials. Now that he's in Denver, I anticipate pretty much thinking "Now I'm done" whenever I see him. So I'm legitimately excited about that. It may surprise you to learn that I am not bummed out that he's a Bronco, in fact I'm a little bit excited.

He looks competent from these pictures, right?

Granted, The Brady Quinn experience in Ohio has been far from legendary, but he brings his 10 career touchdowns and 9 career interceptions to Denver for what an insurance company would label an acceptable risk. Yes, Brady went 2-7 last year for Cleveland and looked as generally impressive in a Browns uniform as Darko Milicic looked in a Pistons uniform. However, when the risk is as low as a running back that never saw the field, a sixth round draft pick that might not even make the team had the Broncos used it, plus another low round pick the following season...Why not?

Look at it like this.

Hopefully, Brady gets back to this!

Best Case Scenario: Brady Quinn is actually a tremendous quarterback and was being held back by playing in the football wasteland known as Cleveland, Ohio. Cleveland was recently named by Forbes as the most miserable city in the United States, and perhaps that's because they are forced to watch the Browns play so much. Now that he is with Josh McDaniels, an alleged quarterback coach extraordinaire, perhaps he reaches the potential he showed at Notre Dame and becomes a good QB. That's a good upside, right?

Worst Case Scenario: He continues to suck as he has in Cleveland, and the Broncos are out three players that probably weren't going to make any impact anyway. Not a terrible downside, right?

So, I guess the attitude I'm taking is welcoming Mr. Quinn to town since the upside far out strips the downside. I'm guessing he's going to be the backup next year, although it's not inconceivable that he pushes Kyle Orton out. Either way, he's got to be better than Chris Simms, who looked about as talented and prepared to be an NFL quarterback as I would have. (I'm not very good, in case you're wondering)

If the Broncos had given up anything of consequence, I'd be shouting bloody murder about this trade. However, since they gave up the football equivalent of a lint brush to get him. I say, "Why Not?" Welcome to Denver, Brady. For God sakes, put a shirt on.

By the way, if you were wondering about this article..."NOW I'm done!"

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 42 - Hello Nurse!

This week, VSR introduced a new segment, "The Week in Wankery" where we ticket deserving people for being wankers.

The Whale called in from a brew pub to give us a review on the beer he was having, we also had a Magnificent 7 list of seven rules that need to be changed in the NFL along with some random hockey and NHL 94 discussion, plus Craig was getting distraught as he couldn't find the Big 12 Championship basketball game anywhere on TV, despite living in the midst of Big 12 country.

The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation was Alexi Murdoch's song "Orange Sky."

Breaking News

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Thursday, March 11, 2010

From Russia with Love

From the country that brought crazy wonderful architecture like this, Alexander Ovechkin, and of course the glory that is Tetris, comes the another amazing discovery out of Russia...34 years after it actually happened. Better late than never, I say! Yet another treasure from the trove that is Russia! Eduard Khil!!!

Okay, so this has already been making the rounds on the internet. I know I'm just adding to the fire by posting it, but seriously, how can I not post this???

This dude's name is Eduard Khil. This performance is from 1976. He is a Russian singer, and he was signing this song without actual words, because, as best as I can tell, the words that went to it were retarded. When you have a spectacular song, but the lyrics blow...if you can't sing, just make up gibberish. Words to live by, to be sure. The story behind the lyrics...

From Wikipedia: (So you know it HAS to be true)

Lyrics were written for it, but they were poor. I mean, they were good, but one couldn't publish them at that time. They contained words like these: "I'm riding my stallion, so-and-so mustang, and my beloved Mary is thousand miles away knitting a stocking for me". Of course, we failed to publish it at that time, and we, Arkady Ostrovsky and I, decided to make it a vocalise. But the essence remained in the title. Yes, it's a little prankish – it has no lyrics, so we had to make up something for people would listen to it, and so there was an interesting arrangement.

The important thing is that this song is awesome. I mean, it's not good, it's not fantastic, it is awe inspiring. If you listen to this a few times, I will almost guarantee you'll be annoying your friends and family for hours and hours by singing or humming it. Not only is the music out of this world glorious, but then top it off with his facial expressions as he's singing, and then the fact that there are no actual words...I can't tell you how happy this clip has made me. Thank you Eduard Khil. Thank you Russia!

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Milwaukee Brewers are winning me over.

I'm a Colorado Rockies fan, but between Home Run celebrations like the one below, the world famous sausage races, their epically good Ball and Glove logo seen above, and Bernie the Brewer sliding into a mug of beer, I think I could become a fan of the Beermakers if I had to start all over.

This clip comes from last season when Prince Fielder beat the Giants in extra innings. The celebration at home plate is the kind of fun I wish I would see more of in baseball. You never see it, because the darn unwritten code of baseball which apparently regulates that one can never have fun while playing baseball. I'd quote which section of the code prevents fun, but the darn thing is STILL unwritten, and it appears that no one is going to bother to transcribe it.

Baseball is coming! It's not football to me, but still, I dig it.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 41 - Ask not what Admiral Ackbar can do for you. Ask what you can do for Admiral Ackbar!

Talk about going in odd directions with a show. This one went completely off the tracks, but somehow it worked. How odd was it? Face Ventura, The Whale and I had a major in depth discussion about Admiral Ackbar. No, seriously. We did.

This show marked the debut of The Whale's intro music. We also discussed NFL Free Agency and the evils of sports bigamy. Plus Craig got all hot under the collar about Americans rooting for Canada in the Olympic Hockey Gold Medal Game.

The Ed showed up and shared a little about the District Attorney's investigation into his activities, along with the message board fights and we even got to hear him shooting hoops. Although he tried to convince me that he made a shot that sounded an awful lot like a brick.

The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation was the whimsical "The Beginning Stages Of" by The Polyphonic Spree. Despite my best intentions, there is the slightest chance that this show might actually be entertaining. Of course, your results may very.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Sorry Birdman, but that was Awesome!

I'm a big fan of Chris "The Birdman" Andersen, but I had to post this this. Stephan Curry makes Bird look foolish with this move...and it was fantastic. We Denver fans got the last laugh, though. The Nuggets won the game!

I'm on a horse.

A few weeks ago I did a countdown of great Super Bowl Commercials on Vertically Striped Radio, and somehow this one didn't make the list. I'd like to apologize for the oversight. This commercial is ridiculously awesome.