Saturday, November 29, 2008

About that Lions prediction:

Me, November 3rd...

Is it crazy that I think that John McCain has a real shot at this? Yes, yes it is crazy, but I have a feeling something wacky might happen.

So saying that the Detroit Lions might actually make the Thanksgiving game competitive resulted in the Lions having their worst Thanksgiving loss in their history. They have been playing Thanksgiving games since 1934, and this was their worst loss ever. Can you wrap your mind around that??? How bad is something if it qualifies as "the worst in Detroit Lions history." That is like "The ugliest Golden Girl in history" the whole category is bad, but it is something extra special to be the worst.

Anyway, it is in the hopes that my predictions have the same quality as the Lions football operation as I make the following (reverse jinx) prediction. The New York Jets are going to demolish the Broncos by 47 touchdowns, I cannot see a scenario in which the Broncos keep the game within fifty points. Everyone reading this blog should immediately drive to Vegas and put down their entire life savings on the Jets and give the points. Do it! Now!

Here are my predictions for the games this weekend:

49ers at Bills - In the Chris Berman Super Bowl pick memorial game - The Bills manage to build their winning streak to two games in a row against terrible, terrible teams. Buffalo 31 San Francisco 17

Ravens at Bengals - The Ravens should be a little worried about this game, because you do not want to face Marvin Lewis after an eleven day break! Okay, so really the Ravens have little to nothing to worry about, because even if you gave them three hundred days to prepare, they are still the Bengals. Baltimore 40 Cincinnati 13

Colts at Browns - The Titans clinch the AFC South if the Colts fall to the Browns...I think that the Titans have to wait one more week. Indianapolis 20 Cleveland 14

Panthers at Packers - Here is my pick for game of the week. Carolina has a great record, but they have not looked great in the past month. The Packers are better than they looked in New Orleans on Monday night. Green Bay 20 Carolina 17 (in OT)

Broncos at Jets - As you have already read above, I do not hold much hope for my beloved Broncos for this game, but lets go ahead and pick this thing "Superfan" style. New York 237 Denver -7 (Ditka will find a way)

Dolphins at Rams - Remember that brief stretch when Jim Haslett had the Rams winning back to back games against the Redskins and Cowboys, and everyone was clamoring to remove teh "interim" title from Haslett's job description? That seems like such a long time ago now, huh? Miami 34 St. Louis 3

Saints at Buccaneers - Offense sells tickets, but defense wins championships. Thus goes the old expression that conveniently forgets to mention the 98 Broncos or 99 Rams, we will get to see which wins this game as the Saints powerful offense and lackluster D head to face their complete opposite in Tampa with the good defense and somewhat subpar offense of the Bucs. I'm going to go with the defense this time...after all, who wants to sell tickets?? Tampa Bay 17 New Orleans 13

Giants at Redskins - Isn't it about time for the Giants to have a down game? Probably, but I don't think it comes here. New York 27 Washington 19

Falcons at Chargers - If San Diego is really going to start contending for the AFC West, this is pretty much a must win for them. Of course, if the Falcons want to make the playoffs, they really need this one too. I think the Bolts begin their "it's about time we started playing better" run to a pathetic division title in the sadsack AFC West. San Diego 33 Atlanta 24

Steelers at Patriots - I don't know who to cheer against in this game. I don't want to cheer on the Steelers, what with the fact that they have about 30 percent of the fans or more in the stadium in every road game they play, but rooting for the Patriots and Belichek is not more appetizing. Perhaps we could just hope that a giant meteor lands in the Boston area on Sunday? That seems like the best outcome to me! New England 24 Pittsburgh 21

Chiefs at Raiders - Two disturbing facts on this one...This is the second time these two teams have played this year and The Raiders have a legitimate chance at a two game win streak. Two facts which make me question my belief in a loving God. Thankfully, I will not have to watch this game, people in California and Missouri are not so lucky, and for that they have my pity. Oakland 9 Kansas City 6

Bears at Vikings - This is a huge divisional game with the winner having a leg up on taking the only playoff spot that is going to come from the NFC North. Will the man child Adrian Peterson have enough in him to overpower the horrendous coaching of Brad Childress? I say yes, this week. Minnesota 31 Chicago 24

Jaguars at Texans - If not for the might and majesty of Raiders v Chiefs, this might be the worst game of the weekend. Two teams that people expected to do much better this season, but have provided less than stellar results thus far. I can't honestly say I have much of a feeling on this game, nor do I much care about it. Jacksonville 23 Houston 20

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

NFL Powerlines - Week 13

Yes NFL Power rankings are ridiculous because it all gets settled on the field, unlike the ridiculous college system, having rankings in the NFL is pretty much useless and silly. That said, it makes for a good blog post, so here are my week 14 NFL rankings. Enjoy!

1. Giants - Okay, now that the Titans have fallen to the ranks of the unbeaten, the G Men officially take their rightful place as the best team in the land in the very important and prestigious Craig rankings.

2. Titans - Is it crazy that I think the Lions have a chance against them on Thanksgiving day? Yes. It is crazy, but I still have a feeling that something wacky might happen.

3. Colts - Adam Vinatieri has just had his picture taken to be placed next to clutch in the dictionary, it is official. If I need one clutch kick and can choose any kicker to ever play, Adam is easily my first choice.

4. Steelers - It is inexcusable that the Steelers play in the NFL in 2008 with that sad sack of a field that they have there at Heinz field. Seriously, thirty one other teams can figure out how to have decent playing fields, and the brain trust in Pittsburgh makes it look like Groundkeeper Willie is in charge of the grass. Inexcusable.

5. Jets - As someone who was sick of Brett Favre and his egomaniacal ways, I have to say I am still intrigued by this Jets team. They are playing their best football and are peaking naturally just as the Broncos are getting ready to head to the Meadowlands. I don't even know what the line is for this game, but I would take the Jets and give as many as 20 points. I fully expect that the Broncos get run in the Jersey swamps this Sunday.

6. Patriots - Can we please ease up on the revisionist historians calling Tom Brady a system quarterback? Yes, Matt Cassell has had a few good games now, but that in no way diminishes what Brady has done this decade. Let's not all lose our minds and say that it is just a result of a good system, that is crazy talk.

7. Buccaneers - Do you think John Gruden's mom ever told him when he was a kid, "Don't make that face or it might get stuck that way?" This is the best team in the league that no one is talking about. I don't think it's crazy to suggest that they pose the biggest threat to the Giants winning the NFC again.

8. Redskins - Redskins versus Giants this week is a magnificent game. I need to see how the Redskins respond to see if they truly warrant being ranked this high. They have lost two of their last three, with the solitary win being a struggle against a dreadful Seahawks team, so momentum is hardly on their side.

9. Ravens - I still need to see this team beat a good team before I begin to truly believe in them. And no, beating the Eagles and Andy Reid's quarterback roulette does not qualify as beating a good team.

10. Cardinals - I like this team, if for no other reason than the novelty of seeing a team wearing Cardinals uniforms not be terrible. Also, Kurt Warner is a stud. Has anyone ever come from out of nowhere twice in a career like this?? First he does it in 1999 for the Rams when no one sees him coming, then after several years of playing like he was too old and too slow, suddenly this year he comes from nowhere again to be a legit MVP candidate. This guy is at his best when no one expects anything out of him.

11. Falcons - Is there a better story in the NFL than the Atlanta Falcons rising from the ashes of the Michael Vick/Bobby Petrino disaster of one year ago into this frisky team that they have become? If Mike Smith doesn't win Coach of the Year for his season in Atlanta, they need to launch a congressional investigation.

12. Panthers - I have cooled on this team. They have won too many ugly games against bad teams and have been blasted by division opponents Tampa Bay and Atlanta this year in very important games. I have a feeling that they fall apart enough to miss the playoffs this year.

13. Cowboys - I already liked Tony Romo, but then I hear stories about him being a good Samaritan and helping out an elderly couple by changing their flat tire, taking a homeless guy to the movies, and randomly showing up at Dallas area high school pep rallies with Will Smith, and I think to myself. This guy is my favorite player in the NFL. He has single handedly made me start cheering for the Cowboys, an act that I would have found reprehensible just a few short years ago.

14. Bears - Kyle Orton holds the hopes of Chicagoland in his hands, and in a fitting display, I expect him to fumble those hopes. I do not believe in the Chicago Bears. Not one bit.

15. Saints - Did you see on's "Beat the Streak" how a guy was one correct pick away from winning the million dollars, and for his twenty-fifth pick that if he got correct he would win the cool million he made call to pick the Packers to beat the Saints this week on Monday night football. I bet it was tough to pull himself out of bed on Tuesday. Do you think the sight of the Saints logo makes him sick to his stomach?

16. Packers - Speaking of that guy on, do you think he will ever forgive the Packers for falling apart in the second half? My guess is that he despises both the Packers and Saints for the rest of his natural life. I know I would.

17. Dolphins - The Wildcat formation has now officially jumped the shark. Time to try the Single Wing, the Wishbone, or perhaps the Run and Shoot.

18. Vikings - The Vikings may actually pull this division out if they can avoid the wrath of Roger Goodell on all players named Williams.

19. Bills - Scoring 54 points is amazing no matter who it is against, but I need to see them play a competitive team strongly before I believe too strongly in a Renaissance occurring in Buffalo.

20. Broncos - Losing at home to the Raiders? Really? As I sat in my seats at Invesco Field I was doing my best to try to make sense of what was happening. Under no circumstances was this result something I was prepared for, and I didn’t really know how to respond other than be confused as to how the division leading Broncos couldn’t take care of the train wreck Raiders on their home turf. I am still perplexed as to how that game happened, and I refuse to place any faith in my Broncos for the rest of the season. I’ll still hope for a miracle, but by no means am I expecting great things from them.

21. Chargers - No 4-7 team has ever been favored to win an NFL division, until now, that is. Ugh. I think the Broncos still manage to hold on and win the West this year, but would I be surprised if the Chargers take it with a 7-9 record? No, I would not.

22. Jaguars - It doesn't get much more depressing than in Jacksonville, where the team was expected to contend, and they are now playing out the string with no hope and little motivation.

23. Eagles - Andy Reid has to be fired at the end of this season, right? How can a year that started out so promising be unraveling so quickly in Philadelphia. At least Philly fans have the Phillies to be proud of.

24. Texans - There is nothing interesting about this team other than Steve Slaton, so I am going to move on.

25. Browns - Brady Quinn is done for the year with a finger injury, how badly does Derek Anderson need to finish well this year? Millions of dollars could be hanging on these final five games for him.

26. Raiders - This win in Denver had to have been a freak accident. No way do they win again on the road when Jamarcus Russell only throws 11 passes. In fact, they probably don’t win another game all season.

27. Chiefs - After living for six years in Kansas, and dealing with obnoxious Chief fans who legitimately hated the Broncos, I can honestly say I take a certain level of pleasure in the suckitude of Kansas City. Letting the Bills hang 54 on them was not pretty, but they are just getting warmed up to come into Denver and win in a few weeks.

28. 49ers - Coach Crazy hasn't done anything bizarre for a few weeks now, but there mere fact that he is out there lurking in San Francisco makes me happy. I sincerely hope that the people running the Niners see fit to keep him around next year. The NFL is a more interesting place with a deranged coach like Mike Singletary prowling the sidelines seeking whom he may devour.

29. Seahawks - Oh Joy! I get to watch this team lose by thirty on Thanksgiving day. The NFL did not do a terribly good job scheduling the Thanksgiving day matchups. Titans-Lions on paper is a mismatch of ginormous proportions and Seahawks-Cowboys combined with tryptophan should make a powerful one two punch to put all of America into a post-turkey coma. Eagles-Cardinals is interesting, but only the 8 people in America with NFL Network will get to see it.

30. Bengals - Marvin Lewis needs to get in the unemployment line along with Andy Reid. This team doesn't seem to care at all, and Marvin makes beautiful choices like kicking a field goal on fourth and eight in the red zone with six minutes to go and his team down 20-7. What possible motivation could he have had for not trying for the touchdown in that situation? Terrible.

31. Rams - Can this team save us all some time and just start all of their games in the second quarter trailing 24-3. That is pretty much the result after one quarter of their games anyway, and we could all save a lot of time by not pretending that they even have a chance.

32. Lions - The dream of the winless season lives, but as stupid as it sounds, I say they are competitive on Thanksgiving.