Wednesday, November 26, 2008

NFL Powerlines - Week 13

Yes NFL Power rankings are ridiculous because it all gets settled on the field, unlike the ridiculous college system, having rankings in the NFL is pretty much useless and silly. That said, it makes for a good blog post, so here are my week 14 NFL rankings. Enjoy!

1. Giants - Okay, now that the Titans have fallen to the ranks of the unbeaten, the G Men officially take their rightful place as the best team in the land in the very important and prestigious Craig rankings.

2. Titans - Is it crazy that I think the Lions have a chance against them on Thanksgiving day? Yes. It is crazy, but I still have a feeling that something wacky might happen.

3. Colts - Adam Vinatieri has just had his picture taken to be placed next to clutch in the dictionary, it is official. If I need one clutch kick and can choose any kicker to ever play, Adam is easily my first choice.

4. Steelers - It is inexcusable that the Steelers play in the NFL in 2008 with that sad sack of a field that they have there at Heinz field. Seriously, thirty one other teams can figure out how to have decent playing fields, and the brain trust in Pittsburgh makes it look like Groundkeeper Willie is in charge of the grass. Inexcusable.

5. Jets - As someone who was sick of Brett Favre and his egomaniacal ways, I have to say I am still intrigued by this Jets team. They are playing their best football and are peaking naturally just as the Broncos are getting ready to head to the Meadowlands. I don't even know what the line is for this game, but I would take the Jets and give as many as 20 points. I fully expect that the Broncos get run in the Jersey swamps this Sunday.

6. Patriots - Can we please ease up on the revisionist historians calling Tom Brady a system quarterback? Yes, Matt Cassell has had a few good games now, but that in no way diminishes what Brady has done this decade. Let's not all lose our minds and say that it is just a result of a good system, that is crazy talk.

7. Buccaneers - Do you think John Gruden's mom ever told him when he was a kid, "Don't make that face or it might get stuck that way?" This is the best team in the league that no one is talking about. I don't think it's crazy to suggest that they pose the biggest threat to the Giants winning the NFC again.

8. Redskins - Redskins versus Giants this week is a magnificent game. I need to see how the Redskins respond to see if they truly warrant being ranked this high. They have lost two of their last three, with the solitary win being a struggle against a dreadful Seahawks team, so momentum is hardly on their side.

9. Ravens - I still need to see this team beat a good team before I begin to truly believe in them. And no, beating the Eagles and Andy Reid's quarterback roulette does not qualify as beating a good team.

10. Cardinals - I like this team, if for no other reason than the novelty of seeing a team wearing Cardinals uniforms not be terrible. Also, Kurt Warner is a stud. Has anyone ever come from out of nowhere twice in a career like this?? First he does it in 1999 for the Rams when no one sees him coming, then after several years of playing like he was too old and too slow, suddenly this year he comes from nowhere again to be a legit MVP candidate. This guy is at his best when no one expects anything out of him.

11. Falcons - Is there a better story in the NFL than the Atlanta Falcons rising from the ashes of the Michael Vick/Bobby Petrino disaster of one year ago into this frisky team that they have become? If Mike Smith doesn't win Coach of the Year for his season in Atlanta, they need to launch a congressional investigation.

12. Panthers - I have cooled on this team. They have won too many ugly games against bad teams and have been blasted by division opponents Tampa Bay and Atlanta this year in very important games. I have a feeling that they fall apart enough to miss the playoffs this year.

13. Cowboys - I already liked Tony Romo, but then I hear stories about him being a good Samaritan and helping out an elderly couple by changing their flat tire, taking a homeless guy to the movies, and randomly showing up at Dallas area high school pep rallies with Will Smith, and I think to myself. This guy is my favorite player in the NFL. He has single handedly made me start cheering for the Cowboys, an act that I would have found reprehensible just a few short years ago.

14. Bears - Kyle Orton holds the hopes of Chicagoland in his hands, and in a fitting display, I expect him to fumble those hopes. I do not believe in the Chicago Bears. Not one bit.

15. Saints - Did you see on's "Beat the Streak" how a guy was one correct pick away from winning the million dollars, and for his twenty-fifth pick that if he got correct he would win the cool million he made call to pick the Packers to beat the Saints this week on Monday night football. I bet it was tough to pull himself out of bed on Tuesday. Do you think the sight of the Saints logo makes him sick to his stomach?

16. Packers - Speaking of that guy on, do you think he will ever forgive the Packers for falling apart in the second half? My guess is that he despises both the Packers and Saints for the rest of his natural life. I know I would.

17. Dolphins - The Wildcat formation has now officially jumped the shark. Time to try the Single Wing, the Wishbone, or perhaps the Run and Shoot.

18. Vikings - The Vikings may actually pull this division out if they can avoid the wrath of Roger Goodell on all players named Williams.

19. Bills - Scoring 54 points is amazing no matter who it is against, but I need to see them play a competitive team strongly before I believe too strongly in a Renaissance occurring in Buffalo.

20. Broncos - Losing at home to the Raiders? Really? As I sat in my seats at Invesco Field I was doing my best to try to make sense of what was happening. Under no circumstances was this result something I was prepared for, and I didn’t really know how to respond other than be confused as to how the division leading Broncos couldn’t take care of the train wreck Raiders on their home turf. I am still perplexed as to how that game happened, and I refuse to place any faith in my Broncos for the rest of the season. I’ll still hope for a miracle, but by no means am I expecting great things from them.

21. Chargers - No 4-7 team has ever been favored to win an NFL division, until now, that is. Ugh. I think the Broncos still manage to hold on and win the West this year, but would I be surprised if the Chargers take it with a 7-9 record? No, I would not.

22. Jaguars - It doesn't get much more depressing than in Jacksonville, where the team was expected to contend, and they are now playing out the string with no hope and little motivation.

23. Eagles - Andy Reid has to be fired at the end of this season, right? How can a year that started out so promising be unraveling so quickly in Philadelphia. At least Philly fans have the Phillies to be proud of.

24. Texans - There is nothing interesting about this team other than Steve Slaton, so I am going to move on.

25. Browns - Brady Quinn is done for the year with a finger injury, how badly does Derek Anderson need to finish well this year? Millions of dollars could be hanging on these final five games for him.

26. Raiders - This win in Denver had to have been a freak accident. No way do they win again on the road when Jamarcus Russell only throws 11 passes. In fact, they probably don’t win another game all season.

27. Chiefs - After living for six years in Kansas, and dealing with obnoxious Chief fans who legitimately hated the Broncos, I can honestly say I take a certain level of pleasure in the suckitude of Kansas City. Letting the Bills hang 54 on them was not pretty, but they are just getting warmed up to come into Denver and win in a few weeks.

28. 49ers - Coach Crazy hasn't done anything bizarre for a few weeks now, but there mere fact that he is out there lurking in San Francisco makes me happy. I sincerely hope that the people running the Niners see fit to keep him around next year. The NFL is a more interesting place with a deranged coach like Mike Singletary prowling the sidelines seeking whom he may devour.

29. Seahawks - Oh Joy! I get to watch this team lose by thirty on Thanksgiving day. The NFL did not do a terribly good job scheduling the Thanksgiving day matchups. Titans-Lions on paper is a mismatch of ginormous proportions and Seahawks-Cowboys combined with tryptophan should make a powerful one two punch to put all of America into a post-turkey coma. Eagles-Cardinals is interesting, but only the 8 people in America with NFL Network will get to see it.

30. Bengals - Marvin Lewis needs to get in the unemployment line along with Andy Reid. This team doesn't seem to care at all, and Marvin makes beautiful choices like kicking a field goal on fourth and eight in the red zone with six minutes to go and his team down 20-7. What possible motivation could he have had for not trying for the touchdown in that situation? Terrible.

31. Rams - Can this team save us all some time and just start all of their games in the second quarter trailing 24-3. That is pretty much the result after one quarter of their games anyway, and we could all save a lot of time by not pretending that they even have a chance.

32. Lions - The dream of the winless season lives, but as stupid as it sounds, I say they are competitive on Thanksgiving.

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