My NFL Network audition tape and photos from the wacky Broncos retro day.

So, I'm hoping to get a gig announcing NFL games. I think I do a pretty professional job as a TV analyst. Granted, I probably wouldn't be able to scream and yell and celebrate when the Broncos score, which would be difficult, but I'm at least as good as Joe Buck.

Sunday was a good time out at Invesco with my brother Bruce, it helped that the Broncos took down the Pats and that we got to enjoy the so ugly they are beautiful Vertically Striped Socks uniforms to which I am so partial. Here are a few photos from the game...

As you can clearly see, I came dressed for the occasion!

Vertically Striped Socks forever! There will be very few opportunities to wear these and actually be appropriate, so I took advantage of the situation.

Our season tickets aren't too shabby!


Both teams looked cool on Sunday.

Even if he didn't play well, Tom Brady looked good.

The retro flag was a nice touch.

Even the cheerleaders got into the retro spirit, those pom-poms are so large they had their own weather systems around them.


Man I love those crazy threads!

Even the scoreboards were retro, they would show replays in color, but most of the time the jumbotron was made to look like an old school black and white TV. This was cool for about three minutes, but it got very old very fast. One thing that was interesting is how much different the uniforms looked in black and white. Yellow doesn't translate AT ALL in black and white.

There was cool retro stuff...

...everywhere.

I am still trying to figure out how Jabar Gaffney thought to twist his socks to make them look like a barber pole. Very creative!



More

Cool


Photos

I seriously took over fifty pictures by halftime, I went a little nuts.


And Bucky was there to look over it all.
(Yes, the horse on the stadium is named Bucky. Seriously.)

Powerlines: Week 5 NFL Power Rankings

It's good to be lost in the tunes!

I finally believe in the Broncos, they are a good team, and I'll happily eat crow over thinking they stunk. Josh McDaniels is now my homie, and life in Denver is good. The Broncos may actually be overrated now at #6, but at 5-0 I can't ignore that they are playing inspired. Anywho, here is how I see the whole NFL breaking down as of right now...

1. Colts – Peyton Manning seems willing to destroy any defense that dares cross his path right now. The Colts are going to be tough to stop this year.

2. Saints – The Saints defense scares me just enough to drop them to #2, plus Drew Brees has dropped just a tad off of his scorching pace of the first few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, New Orleans is still scary good.

3. Giants – Has there ever been a more sure thing than the Giants over the Raiders big? I had zero doubt that the G-men would completely trounce Oakland. If I’m a Giants fan, I’m a tiny bit concerned about Eli’s Plantar fasciitis and it’s effects when they play a real team; however against the Raiders, no worries man! By the way, is there a weirder word than fasciitis? I have heard multiple sportscasters try to pronounce this condition, and I still have no clue how it’s supposed to be said. Seriously, how many words have double i’s smack dab in the middle of them? The only word that I can think of that even has consecutive i’s would be Hawaii.

4. Vikings – This team is definitely among the elite, but it’s only October. If my hopes rest upon a 40 year old quarterback with a history of breaking down late in seasons not breaking down, I’m not sure how confident I would be. That said, Favre and the Vikings have looked like world beaters to this point.

5. Ravens – The Baltimore defense isn’t as ridiculously strong as it was last season. They just dropped a huge home game to the Bengals, their second loss in as many weeks, but I still feel like this team wins the AFC North. Perhaps I will be proven wrong, and it won’t be the first or last time that happens, but I am not ready to drop the Ravens too far just yet.

6. Broncos – I believe! In the enthusiasm following the Broncos huge win versus the Patriots at Invesco on Sunday, I yelled to my brother that I’d put the Broncos at number 1 overall in the rankings. I cannot in good conscience do that after I’ve had a few days to cool off from that moment, but it’d be utter foolishness to not at least bump them up quite a bit higher than at 15 where they were last week. This may be too high, but the Broncos look legit, which I am completely stunned and amazed that I am able to say.

7. Eagles – Donovan McNabb is back and he has a few weeks to work out any rust as Philly gets Oakland and Washington up next before their next real test versus the Giants.

8. Patriots – Suddenly the New England juggernaut looks very ordinary, but in the AFC East a 3-2 record is good enough for a share of first place right now.

9. Bengals – So perhaps this team isn’t a fluke. Taking down the Steelers was big, but going into Baltimore and coming home with a hard fought victory is even bigger. I don’t know how long it’s been since the Bengals have been all alone in first place in their division after five weeks, but I’m guessing that leather helmets played a prominent role in the era.

10. Falcons – Atlanta used their bye week effectively, I’d say. I predicted a San Francisco victory over them this past Sunday, so naturally Matt Ryan and company hang 45 on the Niners and run them out of their own building in a thirty-five point victory. That was a major statement game by the Falcons.

11. Steelers – Steelers fans can’t feel too good about barely squeaking out a win at Detroit. When defending your title, you really want to destroy the team that didn’t win a game last year, having to hold on to the bitter end doesn’t bode will for Pittsburgh.

12. Chargers – San Diego has to be licking it’s wounds right now. At two and a half games back, coming off of a bye, and having to live with getting housed by the Steelers for two weeks…if the Chargers have any pride at all they will probably hang the first L of the season on the Broncos record. Of course, they are coached by a man named Norv, so there is every possibility that they do not have any pride at all.

13. Dolphins – After a brutal 0-3 start, the Dolphins are starting to show some signs of life. Who would have guessed that losing their starting quarterback for the season may actually have been a blessing? Watching the Dolphins play, I am impressed with their resourcefulness. This team isn’t blessed with an overabundance of talent, but Tony Sparano does a lot with what he is given. He may be one of the more underrated coaches in the NFL.

14. Jets – That was surely a tough loss against the Dolphins, but on the plus side for the Jets, Braylon Edwards looked great in his first game for New York. Usually it takes a receiver a bit longer than a few days to provide five catch, 64 yard, 1 touchdown type performances. Perhaps green is Braylon’s color?

15. Bears – This is an interesting two week stretch for Chicago, as they will come off of their bye with trips to Atlanta and Cincinnati. If they are able to get both of those games, they may be able to get on a roll that leads them to contending for the division. The Vikings will be tough to catch, though.

16. 49ers – Mike Singletary would probably like to just get a mulligan on this weekend. And from the, “Boy I’m glad he’s not in Denver anymore” files. Dre Bly, were you really showboating at your own 40 yard line on an interception when you were trailing by 25? The football gods were not impressed and provided swift justice in the form of Falcon reciever Roddy White. Roddy, You may have singlehandedly defeated my fantasy football team this week, but catching Bly and causing him to fumble the ball back over to Atlanta almost makes it worth it. Sadly, it appears that Dre Bly learned nothing as he arrogantly defended his actions in the third person by saying, "Dre's going to be Dre', When I make plays, and I've made a lot, I express myself." What a tool.

17. Cardinals – Every time I am ready to give up on Arizona, they reel me back in with something like a goal line stand to win the game. The Cards may be a decent team, or they may be terrible, but they are without a doubt consistently inconsistent.

18. Packers – In what may be the worst timed bye in the history of football, the Packers have to live with getting whooped by Brett Favre for two weeks before they get to hit the field again. They should be sufficiently ticked off by the time the Lions get to Lambeau on Sunday.

19. Texans – Is Steve Slaton still alive? Has anyone been able to confirm this? Let’s just say I’m regretting my first overall pick in my ESPN fantasy league draft this year.

20. Cowboys – Having to go to overtime to beat the Chiefs just confirms to me that Dallas is not very good this year. Seriously, getting taken to OT by the Chiefs may not be a loss in the standings, but it sure must feel like it to Wade Phillips and company.

21. Seahawks – Well, when the Hawks win games, they win them big. Despite only winning two of their five games thus far this season, both of their wins have been in blowout and shutout fashion. 28-0 over the Rams and 41-0 over the Jaguars.

22. Titans – This is probably one of the better 0-5 teams ever, but even if they can get it going now, it’s probably going to be too little too late.

23. Jaguars – I refuse to believe that Jacksonville cares at this point. Allowing a one win team to completely destroy you is embarrassing.

24. Redskins – Jim Zorn, I hope you’re just renting there in the DC area.

25. Panthers - What the heck happened here? I was predicting at the end of last year's regular season that the Panthers would win the Super Bowl, and now they are dreadful.

26. Browns – I know this has been beaten to death already, but how does an NFL quarterback only complete 11.7% of his passes? Worse than that, how did Derek Anderson do it and WIN? I don’t know much, but I do know that when only three of your seventeen throws are actually caught, and one of those three gets caught by your opponent, that it is rare to win the game. How did that happen?

27. Bills – Oh right, the Browns were able to win despite a monumentally bad performance from their QB because they were playing the Bills. Now it makes a little more sense.

28. Lions – How bad was Detroit last season that this year's 1-4 team that has been blown out several times still feels like a massive improvement?


29. Raiders - If I didn't despise Al Davis and his crew so much, I might think that their sustained crapulence was sad, but since I do despise them, I find each year they suck to be funnier than the last.

30. Chiefs - Kansas City just seems lost on the football field. Almost beating the Cowboys is the highlight of their year to this point.31. Buccaneers - To say this is a rebuilding year for Tampa is an insult to rebuilding. They are dreadful. How appropriate that they will be donning the butterscotch pudding uniforms this season, as they haven't been this pathetic since the last time Bucco Bruce was prominently involved.

32. Rams - Other than one close game against the pathetic Redskins, the Rams have lost by 28, 19, 35, and 28. It doesn't really matter who they are playing against...take their opponent and give the points. This team may make it two consecutive years that the NFL has a winless team.

Broncos Gameday Recap: Game #5 - vs Patriots

Brandon Marshall hauls in a first half touchdown pass.

I believe! The Broncos Kool-Aid tastes delicious, another glass please! 5 and OH! On a chilly October afternoon dressed in mustard yellow, the Denver Broncos shot out to their best record since the last year they won a Super Bowl by bringing down the team many pundits had penciled in to the Super Bowl for the AFC.

The Broncos offense celebrates a game tying fourth quarter 98 yard touchdown drive.

For the second straight week, the Broncos spotted the opposition a 10-0 lead, and for the second straight week, they completely shut down their opponents in the second half and stormed back to win an exciting game. In the fourth quarter they were somehow able to hold the Patriots three different times on the same drive. Thanks to the Broncos inability to avoid dumb penalties on punting plays, they gave the Patriots three opportunities to salt away the game, but each time the defense came out and forced yet another punt. Finally, with less than ten minutes to go, they were able to avoid giving the Patriots another first down via penalty on a punting play, but then the ball was downed at the 2. Channeling his inner Elway, Kyle Orton led the Broncos on a 98 yard touchdown drive to tie up the game and force overtime. The Broncos won the coin toss, and never let the Patriots touch the ball, marching to the Patriots 22 yard line, where Matt Prater slammed the door shut on Patriots to seal the overtime win with a 41 yard field goal. No matter how many times I blinked, the scoreboard kept reading Final Score in OT: Denver 20 New England 17.

Matt Prater bangs home the winning three points in OT.

As I walked out of Invesco Field on Sunday, I sounded much like Jack Buck after Kirk Gibson hit his improbable World Series home run in 1988. I just kept saying, “I don’t believe what I just saw!”

It is time to believe in these Broncos. In what is surely the most surprising start to a Broncos season in their entire 50 year history, Denver has bolted out confidently to a
5-0 start in a season where I only predicted they would get four wins the entire year. This is why I don’t gamble, my crystal ball is notoriously shaky.

No truth to the rumor that Tony Scheffler can leap small buildings in a single bound.

The amount of surprise to this start is hard to chart. After a tumultuous off season, the Broncos faithful were ready to toss Josh McDaniels onto the first bus out of town, now he could run for mayor and win in a landslide. The Broncos defense, widely regarded as terrible and officially ranked as 29th out of 32 last year on the official NFL website has suddenly turned into an impenetrable force. The Broncos are only giving up an average of 8.6 points per game. In one off season they have somehow gone from tin foil to an iron wall. Losing Jay Cutler barely has mattered at all, and this team is declaring itself to be a force in the AFC. Who knew? Everyone knows now, and I am firmly a believer now. Against all odds, The Broncos are actually a good football team.

Positives from the game:

The defense stuffed the Patriots all afternoon.

The Defense: In what is quickly become a broken record in the positive category, the Broncos defense played fast, smothering, aggressive, good defense. Although they only recorded 1 sack all day, they clearly were affecting Tom Brady with their pressure, and they held the strong Patriots offense in check. This defense is solid.

Josh McDaniels got a bit emotional after the game, and it was awesome!

Josh McDaniels: This is exactly what I want in my head coach: Aggressive play calling when the situation called for it, maintaining belief in his team, and genuine emotion and enthusiasm when something great is accomplished. I have gone from hoping he got fired before the season began to absolutely loving the guy in a little over a month. It’s amazing what winning your first five games can do for your reputation around these parts. Just like the Broncos, I now believe in Josh McDaniels.

Kyle Orton looked amazing on Sunday, he played well too!

Kyle Orton: Sadly, he tossed up his first interception of the season, but to be fair it was on a Hail Mary on the final play of the first half, so I’m going to go ahead and say that it doesn’t count. However, on the plays that did count, Kyle Orton was extremely solid. His passes were accurate and he led the Broncos on methodical drives, and was very clutch in the 4th quarter and overtime. He outplayed Tom Brady, and looked like a stud quarterback. I really can’t say a single bad thing about KO’s game on Sunday. He was perfect for Denver.

Brandon Marshall breaks up what could have been a crippling interception in overtime on the next to last play of the game.

Brandon Marshall: Marshall had eight catches for 64 yards and a pair of 11 yard touchdown catches. He had a ton of clutch grabs, and is starting to look like the dominating receiver that the Broncos need him to be. Plus, on the next to last play of the game, he played the role of defensive back as he kept a rare errant throw from Kyle Orton from being intercepted by Shawn Springs at a most inopportune time.

Eddie Royal had a great 10 catch game.

Eddie Royal: While not spectacular, he was consistently solid, and pulled down a whopping ten catches for 90 yards. He was the perfect compliment of possession receiver to Brandon Marshall’s explosive #1 receiver.

Man do I dig those socks!

The Uniforms: Obviously, since the name of my blog is VerticallyStripedSocks.com, I probably am going to like these retro uniforms. I have to say, that after seeing them in person on the field, I am even more happy about them. I’ll be the first to admit that they are uglier than a Boston sports fan’s attitude after yesterday’s games, but the Brown and Yellow duds are so ugly that they are beautiful. In no way do I support moving to those crazy threads full time, but for a one time thing, they were about as cool as it gets. The Brown helmets were cool, the bright yellow jerseys were cool, naturally I thought the socks were awesome, I even liked Jabar Gaffney’s sock swirls. It was a lot of fun to bring back a part of the past that I was to young to have ever been able to see first hand. The fact that they won in those uniforms was even better!

I'm not a big fan of the Patriots, but I totally love their retro uniforms.

I have to even give credit to New England who broke out the glorious Pat Patriot uniforms. New England should return to using those uniforms immediately, as they are far superior to the Flying Elvis uniforms they have worn over the past decade plus.

"Do you have any Rocket Pops?"

Heck, even the referees got into the throwback spirit, although their uniforms looked suspiciously like ice cream men, I wasn't sure if Bill Belichick was going to challenge a play or order a Dilly Bar.

Negatives from the game:

Knowshon Moreno loses a 1st quarter fumble.

Knowshon Moreno: Although Knowshon did a lot very well, his fumble in the first quarter is disturbing. He is putting the ball on the turf a lot more than I’d like to see, but he did hang on tightly for the rest of the game, which was good. His 88 yards rushing were fantastic, and he is starting to show some real signs that he is going to be a legit back.

Special Teams: Between Matt Prater missing a 1st quarter field goal to the Broncos having to stop the Patriots three times on a critical fourth quarter drive due to multiple penalties on the punting team, it was not the finest hour for the Broncos special teams. I imagine Josh McDaniels will be discussing the efforts with Broncos Special Teams coach Mike Priefer this week.

As good as Josh McDaniels was, he needs to learn to not always drop the red replay challenge flag.

McDaniels replay challenges: As good as McDaniels was on Sunday, knowing when to throw the replay challenge flag was not a strong point. Challenging Moreno’s fumble was foolish, as it was pretty obvious that the ball was out, but even worse than that, challenging the 3 yard pass that was originally called a completion to Chris Baker early in the second quarter was a huge tactical error. Even though it was obvious that the call was wrong, you can not waste your last challenge right there. NFL coaches are only allotted two challenges a game unless they get both of their first two challenges correct, in which case they are awarded a third challenge. Since Josh had already missed on one challenge, challenging that 3 yard gain was his final challenge for the game. It was silly to waste it debating a three yard gain for the Patriots. If the zebras had made a game changing bad call later in the game, the Broncos would have been unable to challenge. You can’t give up your final challenge over a petty three yards on a second down play. It was McDaniel’s only major tactical error of the day, but it could have been huge, thankfully it wasn’t.

Bronco offense on 3rd and 1: In what can only be described as a lingering problem, the Broncos seem completely unable to get a single yard when they really need one. As once again this week, they were stuffed multiple times in short yardage situations. The offensive line, while providing stellar pass protection, is just not getting off the line enough to allow the running backs to pick up short yardage plays. This could be a problem down the line if not corrected.

Even the referees are believing in the Broncos now!

Final Thought: This was a glorious week for Denver. Not only did they showcase their sartorial splendor by having the guts to wear the yellow and brown threads, a look that inspired fans to literally set fire to the uniforms in the 60's, but they made it look good. To do it one better they even pulled out a win in the most exciting and meaningful NFL game of the week to raise their record to a head scratching 5-0. The Broncos have done it, they have made a believer out of even me. GO BRONCOS! I BELIEVE!

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 20: Bad Uniforms and Donkeys in Zebra Suits

It was another big show for Vertically Striped Radio. Craig was prepping for a big sports day in Denver, with the Broncos getting ready for the Patriots, and the Rockies getting ready to host the Phillies in the divisional baseball playoffs.

To honor the Broncos wearing their Vertically Striped Socks, Craig did a Magnificent Seven list of the 7 Ugliest uniforms in the NFL. The Ed, Face Ventura and the Whale all jumped in to say Hi, and they all helped with the list. Ed pretty much said I have no style, as he disagreed with me putting the Texans All-Red uniforms, the Dolphins Orange jerseys and the Seahawks Green uniforms on the list. I still say all those uniforms are ugly.

The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation was "Notes from Elsewhere" by Peter Mulvey.

Here are the photos of the Zebra-Donkeys, Not sure if they'd fool me. Probably would.

NFL Weekend Preview: Week 5

How sad is the lineup of games this weekend? Texans versus Cardinals is one of the GOOD games.

Bills 19 Browns 13 - Which city is more depressed? It's a toss up, as is this game. Neither team is much of a postseason threat, but the Bills are maybe a marginally better team. If you're at a party at a place that has Sunday Ticket, I doubt many are clamoring to watch this one.

Steelers 38 Lions 10 - This is not a weekend with a lot of great match ups, The Champs get to head to Detroit where I don't know that they are going to increase the morale of auto-workers. I'm guessing the home team goes down hard, but at least they have gotten used to that of late up in Michigan.

Cowboys 20 Chiefs 7 - After seeing them in person last Sunday, I can confirm that the Dallas Cowboys are not what one would call a confident team right now. Tony Romo was atrocious and the Cowpersons looked extremely tentative. That said, the Chiefs are in disarray, and a game against them is a good way to get your confidence built back up.

Vikings 30 Rams 10 - Do the Rams have a football pulse? I consulted the Magic 8 Ball and was told, "My sources say No." I think the 8 ball has good sources. Vikings roll again through the mush of their early season schedule which was surely approved by the schedule makers for Nebraska and Kansas State.

Giants 48 Raiders 17 - Oh look, another crappy game. If you're a huge NFL fan, but you have to miss one week of the season to do yard work or something, this may be the week to get it knocked out. Can Jamarcus Russell's precision possibly get worse? I've seen terrorists hit John Rambo with greater accuracy.

Eagles 19 Buccaneers 3 - It's almost like the NFL schedule maker is laughing at us this weekend. On the plus side, no one in the world is getting knocked out of any eliminator pools this weekend.

Panthers 10 Redskins 9 - This game is actually almost interesting. Two teams that had much higher hopes entering the season than the results on the field have yielded to this point. Plus, both teams desperately need to win this game to make a season of it. I have selected the Panthers to be victorious, but don't interpret that as a vote of confidence in Jake Delhomme, because I have none. I just happen to think that the Redskins just may be terrible.

Ravens 27 Bengals 24 - Are the Bengals actually a solid team as many of their results have suggested so far, or are they the team that can barely beat the Browns? I can't see the Ravens dropping this one after the heart breaker in New England last weekend, but I think the Bengals may actually be a decent squad.

49ers 20 Falcons 16 - The 49ers are a team that have impressed early on, they are a Favre desperation heave away from being undefeated, and I think they should be able to handle Matt Ryan and company.

Jaguars 23 Seahawks 20 - These two teams are complete opposites to me. I figured the Seahawks would be decent, but since a good first week, they have been dreadful. The Jags are a team I thought would be stink on ice, but they've actually been somewhat strong, or at least not completely dreadful. I'll follow the early season trends and take the Jags to win.

Cardinals 33 Texans 28 - The Texans have survived an early season malaise to be 2-2 at the quarter mark of the season. This is an important game for them if they are going to break through as many thought they were bound to do this season. I don't know if they can actually put it together, though.

Patriots 28 Broncos 17 - The Broncos have easily been the surprise of the early season, but I'm not sure they will be able to stand up to the brutality of the schedule in the next month. This is a great opportunity to show they are for real, but they need to take advantage of it, and I'm not sure they'll be able. I'll be at Invesco Field watching this one and hoping, but I'm not expecting that Denver will be victorious. No matter the result it'll be fun to see Denver wearing these...



Colts 37 Titans 16 - The Colts look like world beaters to this point, and the Titans look like road kill so far. I expect both of those trends to continue.

Jets 29 Dolphins 14 - The Dolphins obliterated the Bills last week, but the Jets are better than Buffalo and they're probably a little bitter after dropping their first decision last week to the Saints. I expect New York to dominate this divisional Monday Night match up.



My Picks Scorecard:

Last Week: 9-5
Season to Date: 43-19

Powerlines: Week 4 NFL Power Rankings

I would say that she looks wistful.

Another week goes by, and the Broncos remain undefeated. If they can make it five and 0 this Sunday, expect a big leap, but for now, I remain merely cautiously optimistic. One thing that can be said with certainty is that there certainly is an NFL lower class, the bottom of the rankings are ripe with no hopers. The top is harder to sort out, but certain teams have fully proven their suckitude. At the quarter pole of the season, here is how I see where the power lies.

1. Saints – The defense looks better than expected, and you never know when the offense will explode for fifty. The Saints appear to be loaded.

2. Colts – Peyton Manning might just be the best quarterback to ever live. That’s not easy for me to say as a cardholder in the John Elway fanboy club.

3. Giants – While many list this team at the top of their power rankings, I feel like they can be had. Their defensive line is legendary, and the Giant Steve Smith is trying to render that guy down in Carolina as “the other Steve Smith” however, I refuse to believe that Eli can be completely trusted.

4. Vikings – The Vikings won that game Monday Night because their defense was swarming and the Packers offensive line was close to non-existent. Favre had a nice game, but if I’m a Minnesota fan I’m nervous that in about six weeks his late season swoon may begin. It’s easy to trust Brett in Week 4, The Vikes should be worried about Week 14. I am not saying it’s impossible he stays strong all year, only saying that hasn’t been his trend the past few years.

5. Patriots – How can you call yourself a man and whine and point to the officials for a flag when someone barely brushes up against you? If I believed in karma, I’d say a huge injury was headed Tom Brady’s way. I don’t believe in Karma so I’m not saying that, but his antics on Sunday were embarrassing.

6. Ravens – I’ve gotta believe that the Ravens defense wants another crack at the Patriots. The way both teams are playing, they may just get their wish. Oh, and Joe Flacco has been a total stud so far this season, no sign of a sophomore jinx just yet

7. Steelers – Pittsburgh remains as enigmatic as ever, as every time I think they have it all put together, they have a stinker of a game like the loss in Cincy, and every time I think they are falling apart they take apart a team like the Chargers. This team baffles me.

8. 49ers – Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and this offseason he decided to give San Francisco an NFL team, which is nice because they had gone so long without one.

9. Bears – Contrary to the rumors you may have heard, Joe Forte is not dead. It just took a Lions’ visit from Detroit to wake up the running back and have him produce his first solid fantasy numbers of the season.

10. Eagles – Now is a good time for Donovan McNabb to slowly work his way back into the lineup, as there will not be a lot of heavy lifting required in the next few weeks, not with the lowly likes of Tampa, Oakland, and Washington on the docket the next three games for the Iggles.

11. Chargers – All that glitters is not gold. The Chargers look pretty, but they have been pretty ordinary to this point of the season.

12. Jets – A little turbulence for the Jets in New Orleans, but they have one of the easier looking schedules in the NFL, and I believe that they remain solidly on course for the playoffs.

13. Falcons – In a weekend that is light on must see games, Falcons at Niners is actually a Jim Dandy. Atlanta has had two weeks to lick their wounds from New England, and fresh from they bye they should provide a good test to the team that Old Saint Nick delivered to the bay.

14. Bengals – I know Chad Ochocinco has his detractors, but I find his antics to be fun when he is doing well. Buying front row seats for Bengals fans in Green Bay so he has a safe Lambeau Leap spot is fun and brilliant. I know a lot of people tell him to stop having fun and bringing attention to himself, but we already have far too many unfun NFL players, I’m glad he’s doing well thus far and that he is being his obnoxious self. It’s fun, and it’s good for the league. The No Fun League has earned that moniker, and it’s nice that some players are able to escape the black hole of boring. I say, “Play on playa!” (Yes, I know I’m too white to pull that off, but pretend someone cool is saying it.)

15. Broncos – This may be the high water mark for the Broncos this season, as I could easily see them losing their next four and falling back to .500, but the early season success has proven that Josh McDaniels has a pretty good idea of what he’s doing. No matter how the rest of the season turns out, the man has won my respect.

16. Packers – Monday night versus the Packers was one of the worst offensive line performances I had ever seen. Aaron Rodgers is a pretty good quarterback, but I think it’s safe to say he doesn’t do he best work when he is running for his life.

17. Cowboys – Tony Romo is one of my favorite NFL players, but I gotta say he is capsizing the Cowboys season. If only Wade Phillips were still alive and knew how to coach a quarterback, perhaps this could be averted.

18. Dolphins – I think a main reason that the Phins are the captains of misdirection and wacky wildcat formations is rather simple. They lack the talent to beat you straight up, and are trying anything to get an advantage. In one way, it’s admirable that the coaching staff is trying to innovate to cover up their wants, in another way, it’s rather sad how low the talent level truly is.

19. Cardinals – Is it too early to say that the playoff run was a fluke? Yes, it is, but Ken Whisenhunt had better have cooked up some good stuff over the bye last week, as the 1-2 NFC Champs need a spark.

20. Texans – Another team that is just plain hard to figure out. They may be terrible, they may make the playoffs. Who knows?

21. Jaguars – Will Jacksonville go into their bye at 4-2? The Jags aren’t that great, but with upcoming games versus the Seahawks and Rams, it’s not out of the question.

22. Seahawks – Thumping the Rams 28-0 on opening day feels oh so long ago for the fans in the Northwest. Seneca Wallace has proven two things in Matt Hasselbeck’s absence. One: He doesn’t look great in snot green, and Two: He isn’t a very good quarterback.

23. Bills – Looks like Buffalo is going to go the entire decade without a playoff experience. That isn’t easy to do, as almost anyone can back into ONE accidental Wild Card season.

24. Redskins – How much longer can Jim Zorn be head coach in Washington? One can’t imagine that Dan Snyder is pleased with the current team, and it isn’t like Danny is known for his remarkable patience.

25. Titans – After starting last season at 10-0, it’s starting to get fun to see how many losses they will begin this campaign with. Quite a freefall from grace in Tennesee.

26. Panthers – One can imagine John Fox roaming the sidelines and Slightly mis-quoting Richard III by yelling, “A Quarterback, a quarterback, my kingdom for a Quarterback!”

27. Raiders – Al Davis has devised a very complicated method of ranking players which will clearly show you how the Raiders should be number one in my NFL power rankings. I’m sure he’d be happy to show it to anyone who isn’t already convinced that he’s a looney.

28. Buccaneers – Weird year for the Bucs. Raheem Morris is not drawing rave reviews, and at last year’s draft they spent their number one pick on a quarterback named Josh Freeman, but when Byron Leftwich crapped the bed, they went to some OTHER guy named Josh at QB. Strange.

29. Lions – How many more games do the Lions have to win to have this season declared a success in Detroit? One? Two?

30. Browns – Everyone is praising the Bengals for going for it on 4^th and 11 in the Final minute of OT against the Browns, but I don’t see it as that great of a risk. You have to go for it then. The worst that could happen is that you give the ball over to the Browns just shy of midfield, what is the percentage chance that the Browns actually move into scoring position to win a game? Do they even make numbers that small?

31. Chiefs – The Chiefs are sad, so very very sad…

32. Rams - …and yet the Chiefs are by far the best team in Missouri right now. How pathetic are the Rams?

The last 10 days were so epic, I just had to write about it.

Life has been nuts lately for me. Not "I'm getting sex reassignment surgery and changing my name to Gertrude" crazy, but some stuff has happened. More stuff than usual, even.

It started a week ago last Saturday with a TNL (my church, The Next Level Church) trip to Crooked Creek ranch in the mountains. I was part of an epic wiffleball team that reached the finals of a sixteen team tournament before falling tragically short by a single run 5-4. Such a collection of wiffleball talent has rarely been seen before or since, and how we managed to not win it all is still a source of bitter disappointment.

No one strikes out at wiffleball with more grace and power than yours truly.

Not only were we an amazing talented wiffleball team, we also excelled at creating letters with our bodies. Note how adroitly we create the letters TNL. You can't teach this stuff.

As if 2nd place in the wiffleball tournament wasn't enough drama in my life, later on that same day I got home to find that I had won the first round of the Fantasy Comedy tournament (a fantasy league I created where eight guys drafted funny people in an effort to create the funniest team possible) versus the soon to be World Famous The Ed. Ironically, I had drafted The Ed to be on my team, so The Ed helped defeat The Ed.

The drama came in that after I declared the vote to be closed with me as the winner, three people came along to vote for The Ed's team after it was over. Suddenly my victory by two votes turned into what looked like me trailing by 1 vote. I had already set up the second round, and now it looked to the Ed like I had cheated. This resulted in a lot of drama, and the Ed saying some rather unflattering things about me. I also ended up as #1 on the Bad Side over at www.theedssuperdeluxewebsite.com, which is pretty severe since Dave Dameshek had been #1 on the Bad Side pretty much since the inception of Ed's website. I never imagined that I would be the one to knock Dave out of the top Bad Side spot.


Things got better a few days later though with the release of the greatest Vertically Striped Animation Studios video EVER! The world renowned "Oh No" video. Here it is, just in case you missed it the first time, be careful though, as it'll change your life. (Slight Hyperbole)



When The Ed saw the new video, I was quickly declared to be off the bad side, and sure enough...I made it to #1 on the Good Side. Giving me a record for quickest to legitimately disappear at #1 on the Bad Side and reappear at #1 on the Good Side.



With The Ed drama behind me, it was time for my 33rd birthday. The day started off with a bang, as Steve from Alabama was able to get the my radio show Vertically Striped Radio unbanned in Alabama. For a short time, the show had been made illegal in the heart of Dixie.

I had to go to work on my big day, but only for a few hours, because as a birthday present to myself, I kicked off of work early and walked on over to Coors Field to take in the Colorado Rockies game. Not only is it cool to skip work to go see a ballgame, but if the Rox won, they would clinch a playoff spot. The weather was cool, but the crowd was out in full force, and the Rockies rewarded us by thumping the Brewers 9-2 and clinching a postseason berth. The 9th inning was fun, and the celebration really broke out after Alcides Escobar struck out looking to end the game.



Coming home that night, my wife made a delicious breakfast for dinner, always a fan favorite at my house, and she really topped herself by following THIS RECIPIE for Bacon Ice Cream. That's right, she knew I had been preaching the virtues of the potential for Bacon Ice Cream, and she honored that vision by making some for me. Let me tell you, this is gonna be huge. It is delicious!

Forget Red Vines + Mr. Pibb, Bacon Ice Cream = Crazy Delicious

Not all the crazy stuff has been great...Friday and Saturday I felt like death warmed over. My wife Jen says she heard via the local media that if you think you have the H1N1, you probably do. I'm about 90% sure I had the Swine Flu. At it's worst on Saturday morning, I lacked the energy to blink. I'm feeling much better now.

I can neither confirm nor deny that this is how I contracted the Swine Flu.

Then, to cap things off yesterday, I was able to attend the crazy exciting come from behind victory by my Broncos over the Cowboys to increase their record to a logic defying 4-0.

Yes, it's true. Somehow the Broncos are 4-0.

So that's my crazy (not overly crazy) life over the past 10 days. Plus, it keeps getting better as my buddy got us tickets for Saturday night's Rockies playoff game, and then on Sunday, I'll once again be at Invesco to see the Broncos take on the Patriots in the uniform which gave birth to the name of this blog! How sweet it is! The Vertically Striped Socks are coming!

Broncos Gameday Recap: Game #4 - vs Cowboys

Kenny Peterson is Big Heap Strong!

The Denver Broncos are either legit, or they are the worst 4-0 team in NFL history. To be honest, I'm STILL not sure which is the case. Sunday's showing at Invesco Field is definitely the most impressive win on their resume, but the Cowboys are looking shaky enough, that I still refuse to chug the Bronco Kool-Aid just yet, I'm just sipping it for now. If they can take down the Patriots next week, poor me a big old glass.

This was the first game of the season which I attended in person, and it was a doozy to be sure. Out of the gate, it appeared the Cowboys would run away with it. The visitors jumped up 10-0 with a 1st quarter stampede, and the whole first half left me with the sinking feeling that the Broncos were indeed nothing more than a paper tiger at 3-0, having only beaten the NFL's dregs. It felt like they were getting ready to be taught their proper place in the NFL food chain. The only touchdown was scored on a one play nine yard drive that was set up by a Romo fumble, and even that one play saw the Cowboys almost snag an interception that would have gone back a long way, possibly even for six points. The Broncos had to feel incredibly fortunate to only be down by 3 at the break.



Then a funny thing happened in the second half. The defense started to stand on it's head. That's the only way I can describe it. The defense played so stout they were like a hockey goalie making one impossible save after another. After Knowshon Moreno coughed up the ball on the first offensive play of the half, the Broncos defense stiffened up, and on a third down play Champ Bailey made a ridiculously artful interception. Both offenses continued to sputter until the Broncos tied it up with less than six minutes remaining.

The defense held one more time, and then Brandon Marshall reminded the Denver faithful why we put up with all his crap, as he hauled in a pass on the sidelines and zig-zagged his way up and down the field for one of the more athletic touchdowns you'll ever see.

Even then, with less than two minutes to go, the drama wasn't over, as on a 4th and 3 from their own 27, Tony Romo found something called Sam Hurd for a 53 yard gain, and the drama was on. The nervousness didn't end until Champ Bailey knocked down a 4th down pass in the end zone that was dangerously close to a Cowboy touchdown. In the end, Denver escaped with a hard fought and well earned 17-10 victory.

Positives from the game:



1. The Defense: This is starting to sound like a recording, but this Mike Nolan coached group of defenders is playing some very solid defense. They are mixing up their coverages and blitzes, and they are keeping opposing quarterbacks very uncomfortable. I am completely bewildered at how a squad that was so pathetic last season has become so stout year to date. Make no mistake about it, the defense won this game for Denver.



2. Champ Bailey: For some reason, Tony Romo was throwing at Champ like a brazen fool. Champ made the most of it, defending numerous passes, tackling receivers in the flat with his usual panache, laying wood to several wideouts, and even picking off Tony Romo at a most opportune time. In case anyone was wondering why most NFL quarterbacks try to avoid #24, Champ reminded us all today. This just in...Champ Bailey is pretty good.

Brian Dawkins had another outstanding day versus Dallas.

3. Brian Dawkins: That man throws himself into the game like very few. I always knew he was good when he played in Philly, but getting to see it every week now, I am exceptionally impressed. He had a few hits out there today that were just spectacular, and he played in coverage like a stud.

Brandon Marshall had his first good game of the year today, and boy did he deliver!

4. Brandon Marshall: Four catches for 91 yards, and one of the more spectacular touchdowns you'll ever see. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come, my only regret is that I failed to start him on my fantasy team this week...DOH!

Tony Romo is not going to want to put the tape from this game into his personal highlight reel.

5. Tony Romo: I joked with my Cowboy fan buddy with whom I attended the game that Romo was one of the Broncos best players this game. Make no mistake that this game will not be remembered for solid quarterback play, but Romo is a quarterback with zero confidence on the football field right now. Almost every pass longer than eight yards downfield was severely off target, and Romo seemed shaken pretty much all day and he got worse as the game moved along.


Negatives from the game:

Orton didn't play great, but he did enough to win. Which kind of perfectly describes Kyle Orton.

1. Kyle Orton in quarters 1 through 3: Ugh. The positive thing is that he never had a turnover in that whole stretch. The negative thing is that he never really made anything good happen either except for that one 9 yard touchdown pass in which Terrance Newman was ever so close to snagging it and going 95 yards for a touchdown for Dallas. Kyle missed badly on several plays during the first three quarters, and played about as badly as possible. The instant pressure started to come he seemed to take his eyes off of his potential receivers and started looking to see who was going to sack him. However, I can't completely kill him because he pulled it together in the fourth and led the Broncos on two huge scoring drives to get the win. Another positive for Kyle, is that he was almost the complete opposite of Romo in that he got better the deeper the game progressed.




2. Josh McDaniels decision to go for it on 4th and 1: Yes, Josh did a great job preparing the team, and I have to hand it to him that he is proving to be a very solid coach to this point. However, on the final play of the third quarter on a 4th and 1 from the Dallas 30, you HAVE to tie up the game. The Broncos were trailing 10-7, and they hadn't been able to mount a drive all day. Points were scarce in this one, and not taking the three right there was indefensible. Especially since the week previous they were also denied on a 4th and 1 against the Raiders. Sometimes it's just for the best to swallow your pride and take the three points. There is no shame in a field goal, especially one which ties up a game in which points were not flowing like wine. I like risking it on 4th down sometimes, and would like to see coaches risk it a bit more often than they do. However, in that situation, knowing that you can erase your deficit right before the 4th quarter starts, I think you have to put Matt Prater on the field. That was a weird decision that I really hated, thankfully it didn't cost them.

Knowshon played pretty well, but that could have been a game ending fumble.

3. Knowshon Moreno's fumble to open the 2nd half: He played pretty well for the most part, but fumbling the ball over to the Cowboys to start the 3rd quarter could have been deadly. I sincerely hope this is an aberration and he doesn't start proving to be fumble prone.


Final Thought: I am all in favor of raising money to fight breast cancer, however, do we really need our football players donning pink? All throughout the NFL today, the least manly color of them all was prominently displayed in a manner most disconcerting. I like the idea of fighting breast cancer, or as my buddy so suavely put it, "It's the Save the Boobies Campaign." However, mark me down as not being a huge fan of the random blotches of pink littering NFL fields today. Pink is great for my four year old daughter, it's a little weird on Knowshon Moreno.

Breast cancer survivors were honored at halftime to raise breast cancer awareness but...

...the comment of the day came from my Cowboy fan buddy who commented when the Broncos cheerleaders came out in these pink numbers that "They are promoting breast awareness."

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 19: I'm sueing you for 1,784 Billion Trillion Dollars

Battling the Swine flu, Craig bravely fought through the pain to share tales of the past week. Including going from #1 on the Ed's Bad side to #1 on the Good side, attending the Rockies game where they clinched a playoff spot, and contracting the H1N1 virus. I was joined by The Whale and Face Ventura who helped carry conversation that ranged from the Fantasy Comedy Draft, to the Broncos, to the Baseball playoffs, to my wicked awesome Wiffleball career.

The final matchup in the Fantasy Comedy tournament was announced, as it will be Fusilli Larry vs. my team Stand Up and Deliver in a matchup that I can't imagine that I win.

The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation was Heart Attack Time Machine by Waterdeep.

You can listen below, or go to BlogTalkRadio.com/VerticallyStripedRadio to download the podcast.

NFL Weekend Preview: Week 4

You may be unaware of this, but there is a small little football game happening Monday night in Minnesota. The only problem with this photo is that #4 will be playing for the guys in purple that night.

Okay, so I pretty much took it on the chin in last week's predictions, but every now and then even the greatest have an off day. I'm right back at it this week with an all new batch of NFL prognostications for the weekend! Enjoy!

Bears 20 Lions 16 – Congrats to the Lions for breaking up that rather embarrassing stretch of losing 19 games in a row. I’m not, however, expecting them to start up a positive streak this Sunday.

Bengals 30 Browns 13 – The Browns are really bad, and the Bengals just might be legit. I don’t expect this game to be even remotely close. I can’t even remember the last time I fully expected the Bengals to blow a team out, but it feels good to have Cincy in the winners role…if for no other reason than the novelty effect.

Colts 26 Seahawks 10 – Those green jerseys are going to be a blight on the Hawks record for years to come, I could see it having the same lasting negative effect as the time in the 1970’s when the White Sox decided to wear shorts. My biggest wonder is whether or not they will actually have the lack of self-awareness to decide to wear the snot green again.

Giants 38 Chiefs 17 – The Chiefs look like a team that has nothing together, and the Giants look to have everything together. This is pretty much my lock of the week, All Together Now! Giants win big.

Patriots 27 Ravens 24 – This game has the potential to be a classic. If it wasn’t for a certain indecisive quarterback playing his old team, this would be the game of the week. I have gone back and forth on this one, I can see either team winning. However, I think I’m going to go with New England since it’s at their place. This game is a coin flip.

Redskins 7 Buccaneers 6 – I am convinced that both of these teams are abjectly horrible, and yet Vegas is giving more than a touchdown edge to the Skins. I have zero interest in watching this game, but I’m guessing the Bucs keep it within the spread. This may be the least interesting game in history. Hardly any fantasy interest, zero playoff implications, unless you’re betting on this game or are from DC or Tampa, you’re probably not watching this game.

Titans 20 Jaguars 10 – If ever an NFL team desperately needed a win, it’s Tennessee heading into Jacksonville. The Titans are better than they have looked to this point, but have been hit hard by a brutal opening schedule. I don’t know if they have enough to get back into contention, but they should have enough to take care of the Jags.

Texans 31 Raiders 22 – I have zero reasons to believe in the Raiders. They have looked absolutely atrocious this season, and against the Broncos they were pathetic, and I have a feeling the Texans can handle them. Houston has fallen apart under the weight of sleeper expectations, but perhaps they start putting it together this week. They are better than they have shown to this point, I really believe it!

Saints 40 Jets 28 - The Jets have looked good so far, but I have a feeling their fantastic run is about to end on Sunday in a game that resembles a track meet. The Saints are good at track meets.

Bills 17 Dolphins 14 - This weekend is full of hit or miss games. On paper, this AFC East matchup is one of the misses.

49ers 30 Rams 17 - The Rams will get a win sometime this season, but I don't think it will be against the resurgent Niners who are out for blood after getting beat at the very end by Favre and the Vikes.

Broncos 27 Cowboys 21 - Even when the Broncos looked inept in the preseason, I was touting their chances in this game. I have a feeling they actually get their first impressive win. I'll be at Invesco Field cheering them on!

Chargers 29 Steelers 13 - Let the severe concern commence in Pittsburgh. The Steelers are ripe for picking right now.

Packers 27 Vikings 26 - This game will be hyped plenty, I don't think I need to add to it, but sometimes you just can't help yourself! FAVRE FAVRE FAVRE!!! PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS!!! VIKINGS VIKINGS VIKINGS!!! (Count me in the group cheering for Green Bay because I find the way that Favre weaseled his way into Minnesota to be shameful.)


My Picks Scorecard:

Last Week: 9-7
Season to Date: 34-14