NFL Weekend Preview: Super Bowl XLV - This Super Bowl is going to the birds.

I have no clue who is going to win this game. Seriously, how is one supposed to pick between two teams with yellow pants? I started out thinking the Packers easy, then all this week I started feeling like it was going to be the Steelers, now I'm back on board with Green Bay. All I know is that a lot of people will be watching, many of whom will be pretending that they're big football fans at a part where large quantities of chips and dip will be consumed. I'm cheering for the Pack, because of this trip I made back in 2008. I've got a soft spot in my heart for the Packers, and Steelers fans typically annoy me with their "We're God's gift to football, and the only franchise that matters" attitude.

So, rather than pretending I'm doing hard hitting analysis of the game to decide who will win. I'm leaving it up to the birds. Parrots, specifically.

Super Bowl XLV - Green Bay Packers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers


The case for the Packers:

I think this guy might be a little confused with the Packers in the Super Bowl and Brett Favre having not been there for three years. Still, he does appear ready for some football, which is nice.

Sam is just hanging out, being a bird. Suddenly with a raise of his wings, he summons the spirit of Lombardi. This bird is inspiring!

Dusty has spirit, and he likes cheese. Add to that the sweet head of feathers, and this guy has to be a good omen for his Packers.

This might be my favorite football fan parrot. Who's YOUR daddy, indeed!

The case for the Steelers:

Kona is kind of impressive, although I feel she might sing out the charge chant for anything that dude said.

This African Grey parrot's owner cracks me up. Although we never see her, I'm picturing an old but sweet lady who is a little TOO into her parrot and a little TOO into her Steelers.

Another African Grey Steeler fan. This one seems abandoned, as it sound like some type of financial conference is going on in the background as the bird roots on the black and gold.

Apparently, half of all Steeler fans are African Grey parrots. This one seems a little cheeky, although that's probably just because he's speaking in French before he starts declaring that Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl. Yeah, I'm cosmopolitan AND I cheer for the Stillers, what of it?

Sha-ra doesn't appear to know her name, but she really wants the Steelers to go. I think my favorite part of this video is the fact that the parrot owner appears to be getting angry at his bird because it doesn't want to say it's name, but just wants to sing about the Steelers. Perhaps the owner is a Browns fan.

After a careful analysis of the parrot evidence, I find in favor of the Packers. The Steelers parrots all seem slightly douchey, and the Packers birds all seem to have their heads in the right place. With that kind of advantage in feathered supporters, I'm going to say the Pack pull out the win in a surprisingly easy way. Packers 28 Steelers 13

And just to show that there is hope for a brighter tomorrow...

Conference Championship Round: 1-1
Regular Season: 161-95
Playoffs: 3-7
Year to Date: 164-102

Broncos versus Steelers: The rivalry starts young!

Our Steeler fan friends who live in Kansas were in town with their little guy on Monday night to attend the Broncos-Steelers game. They enjoyed it more than I did, but I thought this picture was too cute to keep to myself. Luke and Gavin were having fun, Luke doesn't seem to be bothered by the 28-10 beatdown the Steelers put on the Broncos anywhere near as badly as his old man was.

Broncos Gameday Recap: Game #8 - vs Steelers

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. And sometimes, you're the Donkeys.

The curse of Brett Kern strikes yet again. At the bye week when they cut Kern, the Broncos were 6-0. Since the bye week when he was cut, the Broncos have now been blown out twice. Since the Titans picked him up, they are 2-0 after starting out 0-6 without Kern. Yup, he's 8-0 this year, and I want him back, as Mitch Berger is dreadful plus I'm pretty sure he's 87 years old. What's that, he's only 37? I guess your results may vary depending on what type of carbon dating method you use, either way, yikes!

Rashard Mendenhall ran through the Broncos defense like it was 2008.

If we are to believe that the Broncos are contenders, they sure have a funny way of showing it the past two weeks. I still believe that the playoffs are an excellent possibility, but I no longer feel like it's a lock, and I have zero confidence that they will be able to win in the postseason should they get there. That said, it helps to keep perspective that I felt like this team would only win four all year, so I would have lept at a 6-2 record at the halfway mark.

Estimates had the crowd at 50% Steelers fans, it was even higher late in the game.

What can I say, exactly, about a complete abomination of an effort by the Broncos? On a night when they played at home, but estimates of up to half of the fans in the stands were cheering against them, They played a tough first half, but things quickly went downhill in the second half. The Steelers were like a snowball, gaining speed as the game progressed and getting larger and more ominous looking. By the end, the Broncos were just bowled over by a gigantic Black and Yellow snowball and looking around wondering what happened. What happened is a 28-10 whitewashing by Pittsburgh in a game that proves just how far away the Broncos are from being what the Steelers are...namely World Champs.

Positives from the game:

Eddie Royal had an epic first series.

Eddie Royal: The first drive, it looked like Eddie Royal might set Broncos receiving records tonight. Let's just say that the Steelers quickly adjusted. He did have a 5 catch 74 yard performance which was solid, but we have to look very hard to find positives in this one.

Brandon Marshall had a good game, but he was pretty much the only one.

Brandon Marshall: Number 15 cannot be held responsible for the Broncos poor performance, he had a whale of a game considering how anemic the offense was around him. 11 catches for 112 yards, he was easily the best player on the field tonight for the Broncos.

First Half Defense: Despite the offense doing very little to assist them, the Broncos offense did the best they could. Especially in the first half when they kept Denver in the game, and looked pretty decent doing it. They shut out the Steelers offense in the first half, as the only first half touchdown was an interception return for six.

Robert Ayers: The big linebacker showed some wheels picking up a loose ball and rumbling 54 yards for the Broncos only touchdown of the game which gave the Broncos a short lived lead that lasted for all of 4 Steeler plays.

Negatives from the Game:

This photo of Mitch Berger seemed the most appropriate Broncos picture of the day.

Mitch Berger: Okay, so Mitch didn't punt terribly, but I'm blaming this losing streak on him anyway.

The Broncos offense was outscored by the Steelers defense tonight. Not a recipe for success.

The Running Game: Seriously, 27 yards rushing all game? That was pathetic. The offense was horrendous, and it began with a complete and total inability to run the ball.

Monday night was not Kyle's greatest moment.

Kyle Orton: When you have no run game, Kyle Orton is not going to win you a game. He looked rattled. He was making poor decisions, terrible throws, and his feet were jumping more than a Romanian gymnast. Sometimes it looked like he was just looking for the softest place to fall, you know, when he wasn't tossing the ball into the arms of wide open Steelers. I have enjoyed Kyle Orton this season, even though he was not doing much in the way of huge plays, he was playing within himself, he was doing the smart things that win games. Tonight, he looked absolutely inept. You have to credit the Steelers for that, they played a fantastic defensive game. Kyle needs to get back to the basics of what got the Broncos to 6-0, and quick. Of course, that starts with establishing a ground game, so Josh McDaniels has some work to do.

Hines Ward puts the icing on the Steelers victory cake with a late 4th quarter touchdown. (He also cinched a fantasy victory for my fantasy team, which was the only nice thing to come from tonight's game.)

Second Half defensive effort (or lack thereof): The Broncos got ran off of the field in the second half. During their six game streak to start the season, the second half was when they put teams away defensively. Tonight and last week against the Ravens as well, they fell completely apart when they needed to rally together. That was an embarrassing performance for my team, and I hope they can get back to where they were at before this difficult stretch through the cream of the AFC North crop. It does feel like the league is starting to figure out that in order to defeat Denver, you need to load up to stuff the run, and make Kyle Orton beat you. Hopefully the Broncos can get healthy with a trip to DC next week to play the horrendous Redskins.

Final Thought:

Even if you don't believe it, this guy is one heck of an NFL quarterback.

If you don't believe in Ben Roethlisberger, you need to start doing so immediately. This game shifted immediately after the Broncos took a 10-7 lead on the Ayers fumble return for a score. Roethlisberger got the ball back, went to a no huddle offense, and in four plays drove from the 20 to the end zone for a Steeler touchdown and the game was basically over at that point. Once Big Ben gets into a rhythm, the Steelers offensive machine goes, and he just extends plays wonderfully. I was slow to come around on Roethlisberger, because so much of the things he does on the football field doesn't look like how a quarterback is supposed to look. However, he just keeps drives alive, he takes enormous hits, and he stands back there and keep plays alive until his receivers get open. He's a stud. Hats off to the Steelers, they needed this game to keep pace with the Bengals, and they won it in convincing fashion. Nothing for the Broncos to do but lick their wounds and get ready for Washington next week. Hopefully they actually show up for the game this time. Ah well, in good times and bad, I remain a Broncos fan. GO BRONCOS!

Broncos versus Steelers

If you're on the fence about who to cheer for this evening...I just want you to make an informed choice. I can see how this might be a difficult choice, but I'll try to make it easy for you...

Broncos

or


Steelers

Look, the choice is yours. I'm not saying who you should pick...I'm just sayin'....

NFL Weekend Preview: Special Opening Night Edition

The Steelers and Titans renew hostilities this evening, as the NFL raises the curtain on the 2009 season.

GET IT ON! Our long national nightmare draws to an end, as this evening the worst offseason in sports officially comes to an end. That's right, there will be real NFL football tonight! As became my custom toward the end of last year on this blog, I will vainly attempt to predict the final scores of the action this year. I'll get to this weekend's action before the weekend gets rolling, but since the Titans and Steelers are going to all the trouble to stage a real game, I will attempt to predict what will happen, only to be made to look foolish based on what actually happens.

Steelers 20 Titans 16 - It's hard to go against the Super Bowl Champs opening up their season at home on a Thursday night. The emotion tends to favor the team that won it all, and the NFL did the Titans no favors by having them scheduled for this night. After losing Albert Haynesworth, many are expecting the Titans to fall from their perch atop the AFC. Count me among those that do not believe that Tennessee will repeat as AFC #1 seed, but I still think they are very good. I predict a close game in which the Steelers find a way to win with all the good vibes that come with the first regular season game for a champion. Plus, Kerry Collins is still prominently involved for the Titans, and I refuse to believe that he is actually a good quarterback. Plus, you gotta believe that the Steelers want revenge for the way that the Titans stomped all over the terrible towel last year. The regular season opens this fall the same way that last postseason ended in February, with a Pittsburgh win.

Breaking down the Super Bowl into bite sized morsels of chewy goodness.

Okay, so were are only a few days away from the Forty-Third edition of the Super Bowl, and I have a few thoughts. First of all, can we do away with the Roman numerals already?? Seriously, how many Romans are even all that interested in football anyway? Why are we catering to this very small demographic? Arabic numerals are so much simpler and more elegant. Who would complain if we just went with Super Bowl 43? It's so much simpler than all these X's, L's and I's. I feel the world is ready for a Roman numeral-less Super Bowl.


If we are going to stay with the Roman numerals, could we at least spruce up the Super Bowl logo a bit this year? This years logo reminds me of an updated logo for some mundane product like Tide detergent. As far as logos go, this one puts me to sleep. Although, in a positive development, I am happy to say that next year's logo has been unveiled and it is beautiful...

Honestly, how good is that orange and blue logo going to look on the Denver Broncos uniforms in next year's Super Bowl?? I can't wait for how great that is going to look when Josh McDaniels leads the boys onto the field in Miami!

But I am getting ahead of myself, we haven't yet played this year's game. Amazingly, the Broncos are not part of the festivities. (Well, perhaps not THAT amazingly if you saw them play this season.) This year's game features the Pittsburgh Steelers and their legion of die hard fans and 5 previous Super Bowl championship trophies vs. the Arizona Cardinals and a handful of guys who got onto the Cardinals bandwagon because they thought that they would get a coupon good for two for one grand slams at Denny's.


The greatest discrepancy I see between the Cardinals and the Steelers is with their respective fan bases. Steelers fans are some of the most loyal and fantastic fans in all of sports, they routinely fill opposing stadiums with tons of fans clad in Black and Yellow waving their Myron Cope officially licensed Terrible Towels. They are everywhere, as the Steelers are one of the most popular teams in all the land, despite the fact that they can't seem to afford to put a logo on both sides of their helmets. There are rumors that Cardinals fans do in fact exist, but I have never met one, and I even lived in Arizona for a summer. There are a lot of people hopping on the bandwagon now, but if there is such a thing as a die hard Cards fan, I have yet to experience this phenomenon.

As for the teams on the field, all logic points to a Pittsburgh victory and by a sizable margin. I am officially on board the Cardinals bandwagon, though, and I keep hoping against hope that somehow all the logic that is staring me in the face about this game being a blowout is wrong. Since I comically underestimated the Cardinals this postseason by picking them to lose every single game that they played, there is a tiny mite of hope that I will continue to be wrong. My hope is that this is a close competitive game in which Arizona at least has a chance to win. My fear is that it will be over by halftime.

The Steelers defense is really good. The Cardinals defense has been opportunistic this postseason, but they are pretty pedestrian on the whole. The Steelers offense has been okay this season, although they have a hard time picking up short yardage plays when they need to, and their running game in general isn't that great. The Cardinals offense is the epitome of Jekyll and Hyde. At times, Kurt Warner and his cadre of stud wide receivers look positively unstoppable. With weapons like Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald they can be scary at times, and then at other times Warner looks like an old QB looking for a soft place to fall. Edgerrin James barely played in the regular season per the coach's decision, and in the playoffs he looks like a guy who is trying to prove that his coach was an idiot for not playing him in the regular season. Suddenly, the Cards have had a running game which makes their passing game even more dangerous. If the Cards are to have any chance, they need the good offense to show up.


Finally, and perhaps most impressively, we must break down the coaching match up. This year's big game features two coaches who also double as celebrity impersonators. The Steelers Mike Tomlin, who looks exactly like Omar Epps from the TV show House...

...and Ken Whisenhunt, who looks a bit like Woody Harrelson.

These guys not only both look like television stars, they also happen to be pretty darn good football coaches. Whisenhunt has the added advantage of having formerly been a offensive coordinator for the Steelers, so perhaps he has some inside knowledge of how to bring down Big Ben?

Perhaps...but I don't see it. I want so badly to predict an upset by the Cardinals, but I just can't see it happening. My heart wants to pick the Cardinals, but my head is over ruling my heart and telling it to stop picking football games and get back into my chest cavity and get back to pumping blood like it's supposed to be doing.

My pick? Make mine: Pittsburgh Steelers 31 Arizona Cardinals 20

That may be my prediction, but I'm still hoping against hope for a Cards victory. GO ARIZONA!