Broncos Gameday Recap: Preseason Game #4 - vs Cardinals

Here is hoping that this man (Correll Buckhalter) gets the starting Broncos running back gig, since I own him on both of my fantasy football rosters.

Thursday night's Broncos preseason 19-0 victory over the Cardinals proved one thing. The Broncos third and fourth stringers are vastly superior to the Cardinals third and fourth stringers. I watched this game, but I'm not going to pretend to you that I watched it exceptionally closely. I despise preseason football, but the final preseason game is particularly odious, as the real players are pretty much given the night off and the game is a battle of scrubs trying to make a last impression in order to not get cut.

That said, there were a few things to take away from Thursday night. The Broncos had a crispness to them that they had not possessed in the previous three preseason matches. The offense was running well, and the defense was aggressive and ball-hawking. None of that means a thing, as when the season starts, no team will be playing their third stringers for the majority of the game. It was, however, a tiny drink of water for Broncos fans walking through the desert of ineptitude that has been this preseason.

These are the few things I noticed to share about Thursday's game:

1. For the first time Tom Brandstater actually looked like a competent NFL quarterback. Granted the competition was nothing to write home about, but he at least looked capable of making something happen, which was a welcome change from watching him get rocked during his first couple of outings.

Brandenstater didn't look completely hopeless, which is good since there is a very small chance he may be behind center when the Broncos open the season in Cincinnati.

2. Kurt Warner looked atrocious, perhaps it's because he's 86 years old, but Warner looked abysmal, tossing errant throws all over the field. If you drafted Warner in your fantasy league, you better hope that he improves quickly once the regular season starts, or you better have a good backup on your roster.

Kurt Warner played badly, but what do you expect from an Octogenarian?

3. The Broncos are actually allowed to take the ball away from their opponent. I was beginning to think that there was some rule passed in the offseason that said that that the Broncos defense was forbidden from intercepting a pass or recovering a fumble. I am happy to say that is not the case, and the Broncos actually won the turnover battle 4-1 against Arizona.

4. I'm kind of reaching for something at this point, but I liked the elusiveness of the Cards third string quarterback Tyler Palko. He'll probably never amount to anything, but he had some impressive shows of athleticism in the game, and I thought I'd give him a few props for doing a good job.

I was impressed by the elusive and immortal Tyler Palko.

Breaking down the Super Bowl into bite sized morsels of chewy goodness.

Okay, so were are only a few days away from the Forty-Third edition of the Super Bowl, and I have a few thoughts. First of all, can we do away with the Roman numerals already?? Seriously, how many Romans are even all that interested in football anyway? Why are we catering to this very small demographic? Arabic numerals are so much simpler and more elegant. Who would complain if we just went with Super Bowl 43? It's so much simpler than all these X's, L's and I's. I feel the world is ready for a Roman numeral-less Super Bowl.


If we are going to stay with the Roman numerals, could we at least spruce up the Super Bowl logo a bit this year? This years logo reminds me of an updated logo for some mundane product like Tide detergent. As far as logos go, this one puts me to sleep. Although, in a positive development, I am happy to say that next year's logo has been unveiled and it is beautiful...

Honestly, how good is that orange and blue logo going to look on the Denver Broncos uniforms in next year's Super Bowl?? I can't wait for how great that is going to look when Josh McDaniels leads the boys onto the field in Miami!

But I am getting ahead of myself, we haven't yet played this year's game. Amazingly, the Broncos are not part of the festivities. (Well, perhaps not THAT amazingly if you saw them play this season.) This year's game features the Pittsburgh Steelers and their legion of die hard fans and 5 previous Super Bowl championship trophies vs. the Arizona Cardinals and a handful of guys who got onto the Cardinals bandwagon because they thought that they would get a coupon good for two for one grand slams at Denny's.


The greatest discrepancy I see between the Cardinals and the Steelers is with their respective fan bases. Steelers fans are some of the most loyal and fantastic fans in all of sports, they routinely fill opposing stadiums with tons of fans clad in Black and Yellow waving their Myron Cope officially licensed Terrible Towels. They are everywhere, as the Steelers are one of the most popular teams in all the land, despite the fact that they can't seem to afford to put a logo on both sides of their helmets. There are rumors that Cardinals fans do in fact exist, but I have never met one, and I even lived in Arizona for a summer. There are a lot of people hopping on the bandwagon now, but if there is such a thing as a die hard Cards fan, I have yet to experience this phenomenon.

As for the teams on the field, all logic points to a Pittsburgh victory and by a sizable margin. I am officially on board the Cardinals bandwagon, though, and I keep hoping against hope that somehow all the logic that is staring me in the face about this game being a blowout is wrong. Since I comically underestimated the Cardinals this postseason by picking them to lose every single game that they played, there is a tiny mite of hope that I will continue to be wrong. My hope is that this is a close competitive game in which Arizona at least has a chance to win. My fear is that it will be over by halftime.

The Steelers defense is really good. The Cardinals defense has been opportunistic this postseason, but they are pretty pedestrian on the whole. The Steelers offense has been okay this season, although they have a hard time picking up short yardage plays when they need to, and their running game in general isn't that great. The Cardinals offense is the epitome of Jekyll and Hyde. At times, Kurt Warner and his cadre of stud wide receivers look positively unstoppable. With weapons like Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald they can be scary at times, and then at other times Warner looks like an old QB looking for a soft place to fall. Edgerrin James barely played in the regular season per the coach's decision, and in the playoffs he looks like a guy who is trying to prove that his coach was an idiot for not playing him in the regular season. Suddenly, the Cards have had a running game which makes their passing game even more dangerous. If the Cards are to have any chance, they need the good offense to show up.


Finally, and perhaps most impressively, we must break down the coaching match up. This year's big game features two coaches who also double as celebrity impersonators. The Steelers Mike Tomlin, who looks exactly like Omar Epps from the TV show House...

...and Ken Whisenhunt, who looks a bit like Woody Harrelson.

These guys not only both look like television stars, they also happen to be pretty darn good football coaches. Whisenhunt has the added advantage of having formerly been a offensive coordinator for the Steelers, so perhaps he has some inside knowledge of how to bring down Big Ben?

Perhaps...but I don't see it. I want so badly to predict an upset by the Cardinals, but I just can't see it happening. My heart wants to pick the Cardinals, but my head is over ruling my heart and telling it to stop picking football games and get back into my chest cavity and get back to pumping blood like it's supposed to be doing.

My pick? Make mine: Pittsburgh Steelers 31 Arizona Cardinals 20

That may be my prediction, but I'm still hoping against hope for a Cards victory. GO ARIZONA!