Thursday, September 23, 2010

Powerlines: Week 3 NFL Power Rankings

We've had zoo animals and photos of random people on the train, this year's random photos to accompany the Powerlines...Weird Animal Mashups! Say hello to Eagledog!

Two weeks of games are in the books, and while we still don't really know anything, at least we are beginning to gain some type of grasp on the haves and the have nots of the NFL. There is still plenty of time for this list to get turned on it's head, but for now, here is how I see the current league structure to be situated. Feel free to consult this chart before making your NFL spread picks, or if you prefer go to ESPN.

1. Saints - They haven't started super strong, but they are doing enough to win games. And until the Super Bowl champs at least lose one game, I keep them at the top.

2. Packers - Green Bay is looking strong offensively and defensively. How much is Aaron Rodgers looking forward to his next opportunity to take down Favre?

3. Steelers - The offense is somewhat pedestrian, but the suffocating defense of two seasons ago appears to be back. Undefeated even without Big Ben, things are looking good in Steel town.

4. Texans - Gary Kubiak has his team playing well, and his offense is out of this world right now, but he needs to show more guts. Punting in OT when you reach your opponents 35 yard line is simply unacceptable.

5. Colts - Peyton Manning is lurking, and without the pressure of trying to go undefeated...which is something that has hung over them a lot in recent seasons. The Colts are still a powerhouse.

6. Ravens - The defense looks great, but Joe Flacco needs to get going.

Look Golden Boy, that haircut looks stupid.

7. Patriots - I'm begging and pleading, Mr. Brady. For the love of all that is holy and good. Cut your hair.

8. Dolphins - Very boring for a good team. Undefeated teams usually average more than 14.5 points per game.

9. Jets - Never has a team needed a big win like the Jets needed that Patriots win. And to celebrate...let's get drunk and drive while intoxicated in the city with the most cabs on earth. Jets...talented, but stupid. Very, very stupid.

10. Giants - Blow out the Panthers, get destroyed by the Colts. I may need another month to know whether or not this team is any good.

11. Bengals - Looked dreadful in New England week 1, then had a super impressive win against the Ravens. After that tough two week opening stretch, they figure to get fat against the likes of the Panthers, Browns, and Buccaneers.

12. Chargers - Although they appear incapable of starting a season strong, they should still easily be the best team in the AFC West.

13. Falcons - Put up a fight against the Steelers, and demolished a hapless cards team. The Falcons are poised to rise

14. Bears - Jay Cutler is the top rated passer in the league right now. Yeah, I know. Ice storms in hell, pigs flapping their wings, etc. etc.

15. Vikings - Brett Favre doesn't appear to be terribly emotionally invested in playing this season. Percy Harvin's headaches are a serious concern, I think losing Chester Taylor hurt them more than they are willing to admit, and overall, this team just seems to be missing something this year. They might get it back, but as a devout disliker of Favre, I hope they don't.

16. Redskins - Should have lost to the Cowboys, and snatched defeat from the jaws of victory at home against the Texans. It's hard to tell whether Mike Shanahan should feel happy or sad to be 1-1 right now. They could very easily be either winless or undefeated. I guess it's a happy medium right now for a team that seems to be playing exactly to their talent level right now.

17. Eagles - The quarterback drama in Philly feels very much like a coach who is getting orders on which player to play from the owner. That said, if I were coaching the Eagles, I'd start Mike Vick too. He has shown flashes of the insanely good player he was at times in Atlanta. Kevin Kolb may be getting the shaft, but what has Kevin Kolb ever done to earn the right to keep his job through an injury?

Is it possible to look more confused on a regular basis than this man?

18. Cowboys - This is perhaps the dumbest team in America. I'd say that Wade Phillips looks perplexed as a result of his 0-2 start despite his talented squad, but to be fair, I think Wade Phillips looks perplexed whether he is coaching an 0-2 team, brushing his teeth, checking the mail, or eating a sandwich. Perplexed is his default move. If he doesn't beat Houston on Sunday, he may be looking perplexed in the unemployment line.

19. Chiefs - I'm not ready to believe in Matt Cassell and the undefeated Chiefs just yet. The opening night win against San Diego was impressive; but the weird weather, late start, and history of the Chargers starting slow all have me thinking that it was a slight fluke and beating the Browns isn't overly impressive for any team. I want to see them start beating some upper echelon teams in non-fluky games before I anoint them a contender.

20. Titans - Destroyed the Raiders opening day...but who doesn't? The Steelers then came into Tennessee and put a licking on the Titans and made Vince Young look so bad he was forced out of the game. The Giants come into town now with both teams needing a big win to get back on track. Can Vince bounce back? I'm curious to see.

21. Jaguars - It was all they could do to beat the Broncos in week 1, and the Chargers curb stomped them. This team is so lacking. It lacks much star power, it lacks decent uniforms, it lacks interesting story lines, and it lacks for fans. I am consistently cheering against this franchise on principle. That principle being that Jacksonville shouldn't have a pro football team. Move these guys to Los Angeles already.

22. Buccaneers - This may just be the worst 2-0 team in recorded history. The schedule maker had been kind to start the season, but it's about to get much tougher with games against the Steelers, Bengals, and Saints. I'll be shocked if this team that is currently 2-0 isn't 2-3 in three weeks.

23. Broncos - These guys play hard, and they mean well, but my team just isn't too good. There is some potential for them to really improve this season, but I don't think the Broncos contend for another year or two.

24. Seahawks - This team was fortunate to have all the breaks go their way in Game One against the 49ers, and last week they had every possible break go against them. I'm curious to see what happens when they finally get involved in a close game.

25. 49ers - Before the season everyone was riding the 49ers as the hot dark horse team. Apparently everyone forgot that Alex Smith is still Alex Smith.

26. Raiders - The Raiders are frisky when Bruce Gradkowski is playing. He deserves this shot to start. Curious to see if they continue to rally around him.

27. Lions - The Lions have the potential to win six or seven games this year. That is huge for a team that has lost 39 of it's past 42 games.

28. Cardinals - Tough to win when your best player is on Dancing with the Stars.

29. Browns - Also tough to win when your best player is mainly a special teams guy.

30. Panthers - Who knew that Matt Moore was going to be THIS bad.

31. Rams - Rookie Sam Bradford has already thrown 80 passes in just 2 games. This is not a recipe for winning.

32. Bills - The Bills are not just bad, they are pathetic and sad. This team is like a walking advertisement for taking anti-depressants.

1 comment:

Trinket said...

First, eagledog freaks me out.

Second, I totally agree about Wade Phillips. I do not claim to know very much about football, but I do know that a large part of the Cowboys problem is Wade Phillips.