Thursday, July 23, 2009
And the Oscar shouldn't have gone to...
This week on the LCS Hockey radio show, the guys did their top 11 list on the worst movies to have ever won Best Picture. (And if you aren't already listening to the LCS Hockey show, I do recommend checking it out at www.blogtalkradio.com/lcs) This sort of topic was so up my alley that I ended up writing a gigantic message on the Dameshek.com message board about my personal Top 11 movies in this category. I don't have too much of an issue on their choices, and Mike Dell and I emphatically agreed about the absolute worst movie to win of all time, which I enjoyed. My only real issue with anything on the lists from the show was Brandon Dameshek tearing apart Gladiator, which I really like, but oh well, I'm used to Brandon hating on things I like, it's part of his charm. Here, since I already wrote it, and it's custom made for a blog post, are my Top 11 Worst Movies of all time:
11. Forrest Gump (1994) - I'm okay with Forrest Gump as a run of the mill film, it's pretty entertaining, but as Best Picture? Who Cancelled? Oh yeah, Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption and Quiz Show, which were all also nominated and were all vastly superior, and yet somehow didn't win. The thing about Forrest Gump is that if a movie is going to win Best Picture, shouldn't it at least have a plot? (Oh, and as an aside, can you believe that Four Weddings and a Funeral was also nominated as Best Picture that year?? I had to do a double take. Andie MacDowell and Hugh Grant as headliners for a Best Picture nominee?? At least Forrest Gump wasn't the worst picture nominated that year.)
10. Shakespeare in Love (1998) - Again, not a terrible movie, but a bit too hokey to be Best Picture. That year it really should have gone to Either Life is Beautiful or Saving Private Ryan...either of which were remarkably better films.
9. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - This is an okay movie and I even enjoyed it. Anthony Hopkins is scary good in it, but he's only onscreen for slightly over sixteen minutes, and the rest of the movie is not nearly as good as you might think.
8. Dances with Wolves (1990) - I saw this movie once, and never wanted to see it again. Although it did teach America how to say the word "Buffalo" in Navajo, which is a plus, I guess.
7. Gone with the Wind (1939) - Long and boring. Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn. This movie is overrated in my mind. I know...it's a classic, but that doesn't change the fact that it sucks.
6. Casablanca (1943) - Just seeing if you're paying attention. This movie is amazing, and I'm just kidding about it being on the list. Casablanca deserves ALL it's accolades. One of the best movies ever. (I'd probably put it right near #1 ever)
5. Chicago (2002) - Ugh, a musical? Really? It was maybe a smidge above okay, but was it really the best picture of 2002? 2002 must have sucked.
4. The English Patient (1996) - Zzzzzzzzzzz..... I'd critique it more, but watching this movie induced a really good nap, so at least it has that going for it, but being effective Theatrical Sominex should not equate to Best Picture.
3. Titanic (1997) - I'm embarrassed that I liked this movie the first time I saw it. So bad for so many reasons. Leo has gone on to much better things, but this movie is honestly embarrassing. 100 years from now, when we tell people what won best picture in 1997 they will wonder what we were collectively smoking.
2. Crash (2005) - People are racist, we get it. Not everyone is Los Angeles is as over the top cartoon-character type racist as this movie portrays. I was offended at how stupid this movie was when I left the theater, and then it wins Best Picture, Ugh. I hated this movie.
1. Million Dollar Baby (2004) - This is easily the worst movie ever to win Best Picture. I won't even debate it. This movie is garbage. Actually, To call this movie garbage is an insult to garbage. Never in a million years should this have come anywhere CLOSE to winning. In fact, if Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Garfield: The Movie, Mr. 3000 or National Treasure (all of which also were released in 2004) had won best picture over Million Dollar Baby, I would have preferred that decision to Million Dollar Baby winning the award. My level of hatred for this movie cannot be calculated on a hatred scale. I'm still mad this one won it all...I can't think rationally about it.