Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Vertically Striped Trophy

2009 was the Year of the Llamas!

On the message board I took part in a 16 team fantasy football league this season. The order of the draft was determined by pulling names out of a hat, and I got the 16th out of 16 picks. Somehow my Vertically Striped Llamas were able to sneak into the playoffs by being the 8th seed out of 8 teams that made the playoffs...but then I went on a crazy hot streak and beat the three best teams in the league back to back to back to win the league. We took down Mike Dell's "Earl Campbell" squad in the first round, then banished Jerry Fairish's "Independent George" to the postseason, and in the Championship Game, Michael Martin's "Seppuku Samurai" succumbed the the power of the Llamas.

To the victor goes the spoils...and we said at the beginning of the season that the 15 teams that lost would send the winner gifts.

I have already received 3 gifts. StreetDreamer83 (Matt Sullivan) sent me a large stack of Denver Broncos Football Cards from the late 80's and early nineties. And in a move that obviously scored big points in my book, he included 8 John Elway cards.

Major Minority (Andrew Tobey) sent me a gift box that included 3 G-Unit Bandanas (A goofier gift for me, I cannot imagine), A stack of sports cards (that include Broncos cards, Nuggets cards, Rockies cards, and a few random Seattle Mariners), a Steve Carlton autographed baseball, and a nice pair of The North Face fleece gloves. Quite a generous gift box that was topped off with this note which I present in its complete and unedited form...

Dear Craig Dodge,

First of all, congratulations on winning our farce of a fantasy football league. Out of all the lucky SOBs in this world, you were by far the luckiest. But hey, It's better to be lucky than good right? But I'm not bitter at all. In fact, I'm greatful that my computer froze right before my pick and they selected Tony Gonzalez for me, rather than my H.S. associate Ray Rice. (For the record, I would have waited and picked Vernon Davis as my TE if I didn't have Ton Gon. I know it's easy to say that, but in the fine print, taking this prize means also taking my word. It's the law.) I'm greatful because this taught me humility. I no longer know I'm the greatest, I just think it. So thanks for that.

With all due respect, yours is a true Cinderella story. Not so much the underdog emerging victorious, but the fact the winner is a real bit...umm, (sunshine.) Keep in mind, I said with all due respect. If I would have everyone that you would have won the league at the begining of the year, they would have laughed long and hard. Your story is about as believable as Love and Basketball. Which, by the way, they should make a sequel where Omar Epps makes as much coaching a HS team as Lathaan makes in the WNBA. Also, his team draws a bigger crowd.

Anyway, with all seriousness, I'm glad you beat MJMartin. If anyone besides me had to win this league, I'm glad it's you. I enjoy VSR and all your contributions to the message board. I enclosed a true bevy of prizes for you. Some G-Unit bandanas, some gloves, some sports cards, and an autographed baseball. Enjoy! You now have material for the White Elephant Gift Exchange!


Andrew Tobey
I enjoyed his letter almost as much as his gifts...I guess you have to know Major Minority a little to get why that was flattering...

This is pretty cool...

...but these made me even more happy. I needed a new pair of gloves.

Then of course...the glorious trophy!

Proof of my exploits...My very own fantasy football trophy. I'm more excited than I probably should be.

Custom engraving cost Jerry an additional $2.20, but I think it was money well spent!

Then of course, I have received the awesome league trophy from Jerry Fairish. The photos of it are above, but the trophy has a feature that could only fully be experienced through video. I offer big thanks to my fantasy football compatriots. Please enjoy the multimedia trophy experience below in all it's spinning glory!

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