The 2011 Vertically Striped Oscar Predictions and Random Guesses Post:

It's Oscar week, and I'm more excited about the Academy Awards than I have been for any sporting event since the Super Bowl. Therefore, in the spirit of my terrible NFL picks, here are my terrible Oscar picks. Check back on Thursday for my in depth breakdown of the Best Picture race. I have seen 8 of the 10 nominated films, so I feel like I have a decent handle on which movie should win and why.

Best Picture: (Pick: The King’s Speech) To me, this is a two horse race. It’s between Black Swan and The King’s Speech. Those were easily the best two films of the year. I’m going to side with The King’s Speech as my pick, although I won’t be surprised if Black Swan pulls the slight upset. Anything else in this category would feel wrong to me.

Actor in a Leading Role: (Pick: Colin Firth) It is a crime if Colin Firth doesn’t win this for The King’s Speech. Flat out wrong.

Actress in a Leading Role: (Pick: Natalie Portman) Another one that feels like a slam dunk to me. Natalie Portman gave the performance of the year in my mind playing a ballerina who loses all touch with reality in order to achieve perfection for a short time.

Actor in a Supporting Role: (Pick: Christian Bale) From all accounts, he is amazing in this one. I haven’t seen it, but I’m thinking it’s going to be Bale. I’m hoping for Geoffrey Rush, as I haven’t enjoyed a character in a film as much as his Speech Therapist from The King’s Speech in quite some time, but I think the Academy will be looking to spread around the awards a bit, and that might hurt Rush. John Hawkes was good in Winter’s Bone, but I think that film is too obscure for him to garner a win. Mark Ruffalo’s character was just a bumbling guy, I don’t think there was enough acting involved for him to win, and I haven’t heard enough from Jeremy Renner’s performance in the Town to think he’ll win. This is perhaps the most wide open of the five biggest awards, I think.

Actress in a Supporting Role: (Pick: Hailee Steinfeld) Two nominees from The Fighter might cancel each other out. I’m hoping for Hailee Steinfeld from True Grit, but Helena Bonham Carter would be a solid choice as well. In the end, I’m taking the 14 year old on a hunch.

Directing: (Pick: Darren Aronofsky – The Black Swan) The movie is disturbing, but it’s exceptionally artful.

Animated Feature Film: (Pick: Toy Story 3) Toy Story 3, obviously. It was nominated for Best Picture. This is the biggest no-brainer of the night.

Art Direction: (Pick: Inception) The world created in Inception was great, I don’t think any other film is going to get this. I’d give an outside chance to Alice in Wonderland, although I think the story in the movie may have been to fluffy and insignificant to garner an Oscar, but the visuals in it were tremendous.

Cinematography (Pick: Black Swan) This movie is crafted beautifully, and the choppiness of many scenes adds to the chaotic feel of the thing. Feels like an Oscar winner to me.

Costume Design: (Pick: Alice in Wonderland) This fantastical world of Wonderland had to be quite an undertaking to costume.

Okay, Here is where I start just making random uninformed guesses:

Documentary: (Pick: Exit through the Gift Shop) Okay, I have no clue on this one, but Netflix suggested I watch this one, and that’s good enough for me. It’s fun to have something to root for, even if you’re completely clueless about it.

Documentary Short Subject: (Pick: Sun Come Up) Again, no clue. Total guess.

Film Editing: (Pick: Black Swan) I have no idea how they decide who did the best job editing, but I’ll go Black Swan here…

Foreign Language Film: (Pick: Biutiful) Javier Bardem was nominated for Best Actor in this one, so I’m guessing it’s going to win. Not much more to go on than that.

Makeup: (Pick: The Wolfman) How can you not root for something called “The Wolfman” to win an award??

Original Score: (Pick: Inception) – When in doubt, guess Hans Zimmer, right?

Music (Original Song): (Pick: Toy Story 3) – “We Belong Together” – Like I’m going to pick against Randy Newman? Not likely.

Short Film (Animated): (Pick: Day and Night) – It’s the only one I saw, and I remember being impressed. Outside possibility to The Gruffalo because the character is cool looking.

Short Film (Live Action): (Pick: Wish 143) – Total guess again.

Sound Editing: (Pick: Toy Story 3) – Yet another guess, although how do they determine who edited the best sound? So random.

Sound Mixing: (Pick: The King’s Speech) – As long as Salt doesn’t win, I’m happy. I hated the movie Salt.

Visual Effects – (Pick: Inception) - Whole cities flipped around in that. Pretty amazing.

Adapted Screenplay – (Pick: True Grit) - Gotta give my boys the Coens a little love here.

Original Screenplay – (Pick: The King’s Speech) – My favorite movie of the year, so it gets this one from me by default.

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 97 - 02-19-11 - Who's your favorite team? The Detroit RoboCops!

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 97
Clowns being elected and presidents rapping! It was was an exciting day politically on Vertically Striped Radio, Even as Craig faced the gloomy proposition of a weekend of painting. Face, Craig and The Whale discussed all manner of goofiness like the city of Detroit changing their football team name to "The RoboCops" and who is more objectionable PETA or the Westboro Baptist Terror Cell and Craig handed out all sorts of yellow and red cards to deserving wankers including a "Very Special" card to uncertainty. We spent the second hour discussing the very odd 1979 cult classic "The Warriors" with Tony Grese a.k.a. 18nalax. The show wrapped up with a music recommendation of Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

I dare you not to smile.

The Definitive explanation of the final episode of the Sopranos and my reaction to it as a guy who's 1st exposure to the Sopranos was the final scene.

It's an odd co-existence I have with television. They say the average American watches 153 hours of TV a month. I am far below average. Like, massively below. I watch Mad Men when they are showing new episodes (Gloriously good show) a lot of sports (mostly football) and since I am a dad, I see a lot of cartoons using Comcast On Demand. Sadly, they keep the same episodes up for weeks at a time, so I am perhaps close to the average American as far as total time with the television on, only my TV is constantly replaying the same four episodes of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Disney Channel on demand. I swear, I don't ever need to see "Goofy's Coconutty Monkey" ever again for as long as I live. Apart from those things, though, not much else gets played on the TV set. I'm practically anti-American in that it's not unheard of that our TV wouldn't get turned on during any given night of the week.

So, while I don't watch that much TV, I more than make up for it with my entertainment medium of choice: The Podcast. I listen to an embarrassingly large stable of podcasts, and if there is one thing podcasters love to chat up, it's television. Therefore, despite never having seen an episode of Lost, The Wire, Boardwalk Empire or the Sopranos, I have a pretty decent idea about what is going on in all of these shows. I had no idea what Tony Soprano looked like, but I heard a ton of people going on about how interesting he was and the plots in which he was involved. It's a strange pop cultural existence to be both keenly aware of shows subplots and story arcs and yet be completely unaware of the aesthetics of the shows.

Therefore, I had an interesting view point on the series finale of the Sopranos. I knew it faded to dark randomly, and that some people found it to be brilliant, and some people thought merely that their cable had gone out at the worst possible moment in history.

With my love of podcasts, I had developed theories as to what kind of artsy fartsy direction the show writers must have been driving the plot, and all this despite never actually seeing an episode of the show. It's strange to have an idea about the final destiny of Tony Soprano despite not having the foggiest clue what he looked like. Yes, I have managed somehow managed to create a thought in my head about the meaning of the finale of a show when I couldn't pick Tony out of a police lineup before watching the final five minutes of the show tonight. Yes, I finally saw my first ever scene of the Sopranos tonight, and I'm thinking that I might be the first person in history to have the final five minutes of the Sopranos finale be the very first thing I saw from the show.

I watched it after reading THIS tonight. Check out this fascinating (and in my mind dead-on) take on the final scene of the Sopranos, and then watch the final scene below:



Dude nailed it. Tony is dead. Somehow this has a profound effect on me in how well done this ending was accomplished...This despite the fact I've never watched a moment of the show OTHER than this final five minutes. I'm a weirdo, clearly. But I found this interesting. Plus, there is nothing better than discussing something that was hot three and a half years ago. I'm on the cutting edge, I tells ya!

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 96 - 02-12-11 - Wal-Mart makes me uncomfortable.

The city of Fort Wayne is building a new city center, and the possible new name for it had Craig in a tremendous mood for the show. Although the Harry Baals Government Center is a long shot, here's hoping. Face and the Whale were on hand as we discussed the discomfort of shopping at Wal-Mart before extensively breaking down the Magnificent Seven of the Top Seven Secondary Simpsons characters.

Craig had a quick edition of the Week in Wankery, and then signed off with a music recommendation of "A Girl and a Graveyard" by James Germain and the Grey Grey Days. Today's show was brought to you in part by a grant from Mike Dow. Remember kids, "Beware of Dow".

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 95 - 02-09-11 - The Ed Times outs Craig as a Packer fan.

Random Alert! This podcast contains a conspiracy theory about a Super Bowl performance, The Ed going off on a number of things including how he has determined that I am now permanently a Packers fan instead of a Broncos fan (not true), a girl who needed a bath because she had glue in her hair, and a music recommendation of the song "Lost and Running" by Powderfinger. Is there a common bond between these things? Only that they all comprise Episode 95 of Vertically Striped Radio. Enjoy!

Vertically Striped Interview - Episode 3 - 02-07-11 - Jonah Keri

Vertically Striped Interview - Episode 3 - Jonah Keri
We were honored to have podcaster and prolific sports and financial writer Jonah Keri stop by Vertically Striped Radio for a chat. Craig and Jonah discussed all the important things in life, like curling, Coen Brothers movies, and the Montreal Expos. Jonah's book, "The Extra 2%" is going to be released on March 8th, and his podcast can be found at JonahKeri.com or on iTunes by searching Jonah Keri Podcast.

NFL Weekend Preview: Super Bowl XLV - This Super Bowl is going to the birds.

I have no clue who is going to win this game. Seriously, how is one supposed to pick between two teams with yellow pants? I started out thinking the Packers easy, then all this week I started feeling like it was going to be the Steelers, now I'm back on board with Green Bay. All I know is that a lot of people will be watching, many of whom will be pretending that they're big football fans at a part where large quantities of chips and dip will be consumed. I'm cheering for the Pack, because of this trip I made back in 2008. I've got a soft spot in my heart for the Packers, and Steelers fans typically annoy me with their "We're God's gift to football, and the only franchise that matters" attitude.

So, rather than pretending I'm doing hard hitting analysis of the game to decide who will win. I'm leaving it up to the birds. Parrots, specifically.

Super Bowl XLV - Green Bay Packers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers


The case for the Packers:

I think this guy might be a little confused with the Packers in the Super Bowl and Brett Favre having not been there for three years. Still, he does appear ready for some football, which is nice.

Sam is just hanging out, being a bird. Suddenly with a raise of his wings, he summons the spirit of Lombardi. This bird is inspiring!

Dusty has spirit, and he likes cheese. Add to that the sweet head of feathers, and this guy has to be a good omen for his Packers.

This might be my favorite football fan parrot. Who's YOUR daddy, indeed!

The case for the Steelers:

Kona is kind of impressive, although I feel she might sing out the charge chant for anything that dude said.

This African Grey parrot's owner cracks me up. Although we never see her, I'm picturing an old but sweet lady who is a little TOO into her parrot and a little TOO into her Steelers.

Another African Grey Steeler fan. This one seems abandoned, as it sound like some type of financial conference is going on in the background as the bird roots on the black and gold.

Apparently, half of all Steeler fans are African Grey parrots. This one seems a little cheeky, although that's probably just because he's speaking in French before he starts declaring that Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl. Yeah, I'm cosmopolitan AND I cheer for the Stillers, what of it?

Sha-ra doesn't appear to know her name, but she really wants the Steelers to go. I think my favorite part of this video is the fact that the parrot owner appears to be getting angry at his bird because it doesn't want to say it's name, but just wants to sing about the Steelers. Perhaps the owner is a Browns fan.

After a careful analysis of the parrot evidence, I find in favor of the Packers. The Steelers parrots all seem slightly douchey, and the Packers birds all seem to have their heads in the right place. With that kind of advantage in feathered supporters, I'm going to say the Pack pull out the win in a surprisingly easy way. Packers 28 Steelers 13

And just to show that there is hope for a brighter tomorrow...

Conference Championship Round: 1-1
Regular Season: 161-95
Playoffs: 3-7
Year to Date: 164-102

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 94 - 02-05-11 - Where Parrots decide the World's Championship.

With the Super Bowl only a day away, Craig was excited for the Steelers and Packers to get things started in Dallas, so the first hour was football heavy. We did a Tale of the Tape of very scientific things between the Packers such as age of franchise, songs associated with the teams, and even compared the quality of the respective parrot fans for each team. You know, all the items which point towards the correct winning team.

After some intense discussion of the Super Bowl intangibles, Craig, Face, and the Whale discussed who should be considered the most dominant dynasty in professional football history. After much discussion, Craig unveiled his surprising but defensible choice for the winner: The Cleveland Browns. Trust me.

The second hour was dominated by the He-Man Movie Watchers Club discussion of "The Big Lebowski". We ended the day with a music recommendation of Bruce Cockburn's "Wondering Where the Lions Are."

(And a little bonus of Lil' Wayne performing "Green and Yellow"; Not because it's a good song, but because it will hopefully bring some luck to the Pack come Super Sunday.)

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 93 - 02-01-11 - Would you rather?

Vertically Striped Radio - Episode 93
Craig, Face and Nalax get together on Skype for a VSR quickie. We start out on a random course that encompasses NBA basketball, Craig’s sports depression, and Southeast division hockey. Things take a turn for the better once we start to discuss the next movie for the He-Man Movie Watchers Club which magically turns into discussing fat guys in Boba Fett costumes, chimps on ice, and the Most Vertical Primate. After the preliminaries, we play a rousing round of, “Would you rather?” with only one minimal period of technical difficulties interrupting a varied and sometimes controversial set of dilemmas to discuss where we learn that Nalax and Face hate babies. The show finishes up with a brief visit from “Post-production Craig” who tacked on a music recommendation from Daniel Kamus, the song is called, "Fortune and Fear".