LaDainian Tomlinson proves that goofy videos aren't just for the 80's - The Electric Glide

Words cannot even describe how delightful I find it that in the modern age something this delightfully dorky can be released by a football player. I can't imagine that LdT will be pleased with himself in 20 years when he looks back on this glorious "Electric Glide." I however will remain delighted!

Broncos Gameday Recap: Game #10 - vs Chargers

It's lonely being the quarterback when you play as poorly as Chris Simms did today. I legitimately felt bad for the guy.

How has it all gone so wrong so quickly? A month ago the Broncos were undefeated at 6-0, and looking like a plucky playoff contender. Now they look inept, and all it took for them to lose all of their mojo and fire was four games. The latest dumpster fire took place this afternoon at Invesco Field. The Chargers came to town for a pivotal game that would likely determine the division, or at least put the winner distinctly in the drivers seat. The Chargers acted like the game meant something, the Broncos looked like they didn't want to be bothered. The result was a 32-3 drubbing of Denver by a motivated Chargers team which should now easily win the AFC West. The Broncos are more finished than John McCain's presidential chances. I suppose I could be more optimistic, as they are 6-4 with six games to play and they still could put it back together, I guess. But I'm not seeing anything that suggests that's going to happen.

Russ Hochstein's knee pops the ball free from Knowshon Moreno's clutches and into the end zone.

The day started out great. The Broncos took the opening kickoff deep into Chargers territory with seven consecutive rushing plays. Then, the very first time that Chris Simms dropped back to pass, it all went wrong. Saying that Chris Simms played badly is akin to say that General Custer had a bad day at the battle of the Little Bighorn. Chris Simms just looks awkward when he drops back, it's one of those things where you can't exactly say what it is, but you know it's all wrong. On his first awkward drop back he had the ball stripped and the Chargers recovered it, and from there on out, it was bad times for the Broncos.

Despite a strong first series in relief of Chris Simms, Kyle Orton never really made enough happen for the Broncos.

Simms lasted for three awful series, in that time his stats looked like this: 2-4 for 10 yards, a fumble, and he was sacked twice. Kyle Orton hadn't practiced all week due a sprained ankle, he was described as being about 60% healthy, and was only supposed to play as an emergency backup to Simms, but Chis played so badly, that Josh McDaniels decided he'd rather have Orton at 60% than a fully healthy Simms. Might be time for Chris Simms to consider another line of work. Kyle had a great first series, directing the Broncos to the very edge of scoring a touchdown. However, just as Knowshon Moreno was stretching the ball to try to reach it over the goal line for a Broncos touchdown, the ball was knocked free by an errant knee from Broncos Guard Russ Hochstein and it hopped into the waiting arms of Chargers cornerback Steve Gregory. At that point, I knew it wasn't my team's day.

Darren Sproles and the Chargers offense pretty much had their way with the Broncos defense.

The rest of the game was a blur of interceptions, Charger touchdowns, failed Bronco onsides kicks, LaDainian Tomlinson running over Broncos defenders, Broncos failing on 4th downs, Phillip Rivers tossing the ball to wide open recievers, and generally horrible play by Denver. The Broncos did manage to block an extra point one time which was fun, but this game can pretty well defined as a one-sided butt kicking. In honor of the Broncos effort today, I'm not going to put a whole lot of effort into trying to determine where it went wrong, as basically it went wrong everywhere.

Knowshon Moreno sees the ball and Denver's hopes to stay competitive fly away.

Positives from the game:

The running game: Knowshon Moreno actually looked fairly outstanding today, apart from his rally killing fumble into the end zone in the second quarter which ended pretty much any hope I had for the Broncos today. Apart from that gaffe, he ran for 80 yards on only ten carries, and when you're averaging eight yards a run, it does make you wonder why he didn't get more carries than just ten. Correll Buckhalter also had a decent day, getting 35 yards on seven carries. Considering that the Broncos moved the ball to the 19 yard line fairly easily on the first drive with seven straight runs to start the game, it might have been nice if they tried to run more than just ten more times the rest of the game.

Jabbar Gaffney's Three catches for 55 yards qualifies as the performance of the day for Denver.

Jabbar Gaffney: Jabbar had one of his better days as a Bronco. He pulled in three catches for 55 yards. And yes, despite that being a rather modest showing, it may have been the best showing of the day for the Broncos. It was that atrocious.

In a fitting photo to summarize the game: Antonio Cromartie snatches away the Kyle Orton pass intended for Eddie Royal. In much the same way, the Chargers snatched away the AFC West division from the Broncos today.

Negatives from the game:

This was not a day that Chris Simms is going to want to relive over and over.

Chris Simms: We'll start with the obvious one here. Chris Simms for some strange reason was given the start. He seems like an okay guy, but I don't think that he has a whole lot left in the tank. He played an absolutely awful game. His jersey number was appropriate today, because he played exactly like Number 2. Ugh.

Turnovers: Simms fumbled away the ball to end the first drive when the Broncos had driven into the red zone, then Knowshon Moreno lost one into the end zone on a weird fumble that was ever so close to a score, then Orton tossed an interception to Antonio Cromartie, then in the second half the Broncos tried to do a surprise onside kick that failed miserably, then the Broncos turned the ball over on downs three times. It was ugly. Very, very ugly.

Defensive effort: The appropriate comment here is, "What defensive effort?" The Broncos defense was playing like they took the Chargers minus about 28 points. If that's the case, then good news for them...because San Diego covered. One of the biggest problems in this recent slide for the Broncos is that they cannot stop the run. The Chargers actually had more rushing yards (203) than passing yards (145), and the result was a very lopsided time of possession. The Chargers had the ball for 37:52 while the Broncos just had it 22:08.

Pretty much everything the Broncos did was a negative today: There is really no sense in trying to establish blame here...there is plenty to go around. If the Broncos had only played better on offense, defense, and special teams, they might have had a chance. This once promising season is quickly on it's way to the dumpster, and if you saw a single ray of hope that they're going to turn it around, you were watching a different game than I was. That was depressing.

Final Thought:

Steve Gregory recovers a Knowshon Moreno fumble in the end zone.

Hope has flown. The Broncos MIGHT be able to make it to 8-8 or 9-7, although nothing is certain anymore. The crap team that I feared we would be watching in Denver took a few weeks to show up, but they are definitely now here. At 6-4, it's not impossible to get things going, but I'm not holding my breath. The Broncos have only a few days to recuperate and get ready for the Giants coming to town on Thursday night. I'm expecting yet another embarrassment. I had figured that the Raiders and Chiefs games were sure things, but with as poorly as the Broncos are playing, and the fact that those two teams took down the Bengals and Steelers today, I am taking nothing for granted. This team I cheer for feels a lot like Milli Vanilli after the lip-sync scandal. Things were going so great, and then BAM, immediately things were going terrible. Hopefully Josh McDaniels has a cure for what ails them, but I am discouraged. After a terrific September and October, the month of November leaves much to be desired.

LaDainian Tomlinson was a beast against the Broncos. You'd never think he was washed up if you watched him play today.

Bill Belichick's 4th and 2 decision: The Official Vertically Striped position

A little over a year ago, Mike Shanahan, then head coach of the Denver Broncos, made an all or nothing decision which required gaining two yards to either win or lose the game. It was the infamous Ed Hochuli game; The Broncos had just benefited from a horrible referring decision. Denver scored a touchdown on a four yard pass from Jay Cutler to Eddie Royal with twenty-four seconds remaining in the fourth quarter to make the score 38-37 pending the extra point. At this point, Shanahan made a gutsy decision, he kept the offense on the field to go for two to win the game rather than kick the extra point to tie the game up and send it to overtime. The try was successful, as Cutler once again found Royal in the South end-zone of Invesco Field, and the crowd erupted with approval. After the game, Shanahan was universally praised for his gutsiness and unconventional thinking. His defense had been run over, and rather than trust his fate to the coin flip, he decided to put the matter into the hands of his offense. The gamble worked, and Shanny was a genius, or so said the punditry across the sporting universe.

From the ESPN.com recap game page:

Showing ultimate confidence in his offense and maybe an equal dollop of distrust in his defense, Mike Shanahan went for the 2-point conversion with 29 seconds left and Jay Cutler hit rookie Eddie Royal over the middle to give the Denver Broncos a 39-38 win over San Diego on Sunday.

"Sometimes you have to go with your gut," Shanahan said. "I just felt like it was a chance for us to put them away. I didn't want to count on the coin flip. I wanted to do it then, and obviously it worked out."

From a Denver Post article by Mike Klis:

What's a bigger gamble — asking the offense to convert for one play from 2 yards out, or risk asking the defense to stop the Chargers? "At some point you need to ask, what are the percentages?" said Chargers coach Norv Turner. "He made the right call."

Okay, not everyone agreed with it. From Bernie Lincicome of the defunct Rocky Mountain News (Although I consider a Bernie Lincicome objection to be further verification of the correctness of the call):

The Broncos won a football game, one rare and remarkable, and, yes, there was a football game there under all the pinwheels and the panting, even when the Broncos coach made absolutely the wrong choice when it mattered most. And got away with it.

Anyhow, a year ago Shanahan and the Broncos gambled and won, and the community of football generally agreed with the decision because it worked. Also, the media were so busy wringing their hands over the absolutely atrocious Hochuli call of a non-fumble on what was clearly a Jay Cutler fumble which was recovered by San Diego that they only gave half of the attention of that game to the actual winning decision and focused just as much if not more on the one horrendous officiating call. My point is, that from my recollection of that day and it’s aftermath, and verified by my reading up on the archives of what was said that day…people agreed with the call because they had access to the results and the results were positive.

Now, flash forward to a year or so later when Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots decided to gamble on a 4^th and 2 at their own 28 yard line with 2:08 remaining in the game. It’s not completely analogous, but it is close enough to make my point. The Patriots were up by 6, and a successful conversion all but ices the game, however, a failed conversion does not mean that a loss is certain; it just makes it much more probable. So actually, Shanahan took the bigger risk last year and was praised for it because it worked. If Shanahan’s gambit didn’t work, the game was definitely over for the Broncos. The Pats still would have a chance even if they failed.

This week, Belichick is getting crucified because he failed on a play that actually was less risky. Yes, giving Peyton Manning the ball at the 28 with two minutes to go is tough, but it’s not impossible that the defense can keep the Colts out of the end zone. I keep hearing how Belichick was showing how he didn’t believe in his defense, but couldn’t he sell his decision by saying that he was showing faith in both his offense AND defense by going for the jugular? Belichick could say that he believed that his defense could bail him out if the offense failed. Sure, that’s more than a little bit of spin, but logically it makes sense, and Belichick could surely sell that to his players and possibly the media, right?

My initial reaction watching the game was that I thought Belichick was an idiot, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Convert and victory is certain (and to be fair, after watching the replay it sure looked like the spot was an absolute dreadful piece of officiating), however if you fail even then not all hope is gone that you can win the game. Plus, the conventional “safe” play involved punting the ball to Peyton Manning. If Patriots punter Chris Hanson hits his average punt, which is 39.6 yards, you’re somewhere around the 32 or 33 yard line with Manning needing to go sixty-seven yards to win with two minutes to play with and two timeouts. Sure, that’s a good deal harder than going 28 yards, but either way, it’s far from unlikely that Peyton doesn’t do it. So rather than just giving Manning the ball, Bill tried to take all the suspense out the outcome by taking a reasonable chance at trying to get 2 yards with Tom Brady for the win rather than leaving it up to a defense that had already surrendered two fourth quarter touchdowns.

Yes, it was a risk, and I understand the side which says that they would punt, however, I think punting would have been just as large of a risk without the potential to decide the game in your favor. To hear pundits denigrating Belichick saying he is a complete moron and made an absolutely brain-dead decision because of his hubris seems disingenuous as many of these same folks praised Shanahan a year ago for making a similar decision with even more stark consequences for failure. At worst, when you factor in the positives for a successful conversion versus the negatives for a failure, Belichick’s decision was a coin flip where it was equally risky either way. Punting is what traditionalists do without thinking or without factoring in probabilities. I think Bill made an informed decision and decided to be risky because he felt it gave his team the best mathematical chance to win the game. I’m not going to kill him for that, even if I probably would have punted myself. In fact, I salute him as a visionary who rejects conventional thinking. If you’re only doing something because “That’s the way we’ve always done it” and you aren’t factoring in anything else other than tradition, you’re not thinking.

Sure, anyone with access to the results afterwards can make a more informed decision because hindsight is always 20-20, but in the moment, I don’t think that was a bad call. It only had a bad result, and everyone loves to judge decisions retroactively based on results. The Patriots didn’t have access to the results, and made a decent decision based on probability. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a shower. All this defending Bill Belichick and the hated Patriots is making me feel dirty!

Broncos Gameday Recap: Game #6 - at Chargers

Kyle Orton directs the Broncos on Monday Night to an almost unthinkable 6-0 on the season.

Whatever you do, don't pinch me. If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up. Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine before the season started that the Broncos would head into their bye week undefeated. 6 and OH MY GOODNESS! Six times they have taken the field (In five different uniforms, by the way) and six times they have left the field victorious. This isn't a bandwagon, it's a magic carpet ride, hop on it. Josh McDaniels will be your magic carpet captain. Yes, it's safe to say I have completely turned the corner on these Broncos, no matter how you look at it. These guys are good. What can brown do for you? It can take the Broncos to back to back gigantic wins, that's what! The Broncos are now 2-0 in the retro uniforms this season, and they haven't lost in Vertically Striped Socks in 48 years!

Everyone who believes in the Broncos, raise your hands.

Chapter six of this crazy season unfolded on a beautiful October night in San Diego. In a game that was wild and woolly in the first half, the Broncos rallied in the second half, and then put the thing on ice for a dynamic 34-23 win. The crazy first half included three kick return touchdowns, one by San Diego and two by the Broncos. Eddie Royal became just the sixth player in NFL history to return a punt and a kickoff for touchdowns.

Darrell Reid and the Broncos defense clamped down on the despicable Phillip Rivers.

Also of note was the way the Broncos continued their trend of putting the clamps down on the opponent in the second half. For the first time in five games the Broncos were unable to pitch a second half shutout, but they came about as close as possible. A field goal on the first possession of the third quarter the Chargers came away with three points, but that was it. Kyle Orton was again very solid in the second half, leading the team to outscore the Chargers 17-3 in the second half. The Broncos OWN the third and fourth quarters this season. In the six games combined they have outscored their opponents 76-10, yeah, that's pretty good.

Positives from the game:

Pretty much everything: Seriously, the team played great. There are a few tiny things to nitpick, which I will get to shortly, but overall, there isn't much I can complain about. They played like contenders today, and I dug it. Let's get specific, though.

Wide Receiver Eddie Royal was the man on Monday Night, even though he never caught a pass.

Eddie Royal: Pretty odd that a receiver who didn't catch a single pass could make one of the biggest imprints on the team of any player, but it's true. That's what happens when you start taking kicks to the house. Credit some solid blocking as well, but Eddie was the man in the first half. He was the main reason the Chargers only led by three at the half.

The defense stuffed Tomlinson like they were on a trip to Build-a-Bear.

Once again...lets give it up for the defense: While they looked a bit sketchy in the first half, Mike Nolan's group appear to be masters of second half adjustments. They had Phillip Rivers off balance almost the entire second half, and they were coming from every which way. Rivers was sacked five times, he fumbled the ball three times (only lost one), and he was knocked on his can all night. The defense was swarming, but being responsible to their coverages. It was another glorious defensive effort.

Correll Buckhalter made the most of his ten carries. He looked like a man on a mission.

Correll Buckhalter: His stats were pedestrian, but he made the most of his opportunities. He ran with authority, and was tearing through the defense like a hot knife through butter. His one miscue was putting the ball on the ground, but thankfully that didn't hurt the Broncos because of our next hero...

Sure it LOOKS like this is a photo of Knowshon, but really, I'm showcasing Ben Hamilton's great block!

Here is some extra love for the Offensive line, the big guys really did their job!

Ben Hamilton: You're darn right I'm putting a guard on the list. He recovered Buckhalter's fumble, and he and the rest of the Offensive Line gave Kyle Orton eons of time to find open receivers. You gotta give the O Line love, as they are playing excellent ball right now.

The catch Tony Scheffler made on this play was insanely athletic.

Tony Scheffler: Tony made a ridiculous acrobatic catch for a touchdown in the third quarter as well as a 52 yard pass that was a short out pattern that he turned into the play that pretty much clinched the game. That was a gigantic game (6 catches, 101 yards, and a touchdown) for the Bronco tight end, and he deserves a well earned pat on the back.

Negatives from the Game:

K-State's own Darren Sproles ran away from the punt coverage with ease.

The Punt Coverage: That Darren Sproles punt return touchdown felt completely deflating.
It seemed easy to imagine at that point that the Chargers were going to do what they did last year to the Broncos and bury them in a blowout loss. Thankfully this team has a ton of heart and spine, and refuses to fall apart, even when the momentum is squarely against them.

Too much blitzing in the first half: I'm not going to second guess Mike Nolan too much, because he has the defense playing inspired football, but he was a little blitz wacky in the first half. There was a play in the first quarter on a third and nine that seven guys came blitzing, the Chargers picked it up long enough to allow Rivers to find a wide open Malcom Floyd for what could have gone for a touchdown without a Champ Bailey shoestring tackle. I like that Nolan is okay with blitzing some, but sending 7 guys seems like asking the offense to score on you. Especially on a third and 9, it seems crazy.

I could have lived without these shenanigans.

The pregame scuffle: Macho posturing is retarded, and can only lead to bad things like freak injuries or stupid suspensions. They should just cut that crap out.

And now, a word about the uniforms:

Eddie Royal looked pretty cool running to pay dirt!

I'm okay with the road version of the Vertically Striped Sock uniforms, but I gotta say I enjoy the home ones much more. The biggest problem is that the brown and white socks don't really jive too well with the yellow stripe on the pants. If they wore the same socks as they wore at home, I think it'd look better, but all in all, they looked pretty good. My buddy Doug pointed out the thing I thought was the funniest about the helmets...Kyle Orton's looked like an 8 ball in billiards. It was great.

Orton's retro helmet looked remarkably similar to an 8 ball.

That said, now that they have broken out the brown and yellow to relive history, lets put those things back in mothballs. I love them. Obviously since I have based my entire online presence on those socks, I have a sweet spot in my heart for them. However, the fact remains that although they are pretty cool, they are also amazingly ugly. So ugly it's cool can work for a few weeks, but there is no need to drag it out.

Those powder blue uniforms are a sight to behold.

Oh, a word about those Charger retro uniforms as well...THOSE ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! Seriously, San Diego should just go back to those full time. Those are tied with the Yankees for the best uniforms in all of sports, the powder blues and the white helmets with the numbers on the side are just amazing. If the game was decided based on who had the more attractive getup, the Chargers would have won in a landslide. Thankfully, the games are decided by who scores the most points, which means the Broncos take home the W.

Final Thought:

Congrats Josh, after a rocky start, you have officially won over the Denver faithful.

To say I'm on board with the Broncos and Josh McDaniels now is an understatement of massive proportions. In a month and a half, I have gone from fearing a 4-12 season to expecting them to make the playoffs. There is still a lot of season left, but the Broncos hopefully have silenced the doubters. They hold a three and a half game lead in the division, and things are looking better than I ever could have hoped. My mind can barely wrap around the fact that the Broncos are undefeated and, but the fact remains this team is unbelievably legit. Enjoy it, Denver!

Denver Broncos to wear the road version of the Vertically Striped Socks

Yes, it's true. The Denver Broncos will be wearing this Monday night...
Check in with VerticallyStripedSocks.com a few hours after the game, as we'll have our usual indepth breakdown of the goings on in the game versus the Chargers. Can't wait to see the road version of these going up against the retro powder blues of San Diego!