Thursday, April 16, 2009

My Best Brother's Wedding: Part 2

On the heels of the longest blog post in recorded history, (seriously that thing was like the blog version of War and Peace) I have decided to do more of a quick hits segment for day 2 of the wedding. One because I don’t feel like writing that much again and two because well, I just don’t feel like writing that much again.

Bruce cleans up pretty well, I'd say. A striking groom, although not quite as good looking as his brother.

-I need to give big Kudos to my wife who is in the running for Super Duper Person of the year as a result of the fact that she let me sleep in until 10:30, and took the kids to go get breakfast so that I was able to get some good rest before the wedding. Big props to you, Jen!! I love you!

-The guy at the tux shop not only remembered who I was from the day before, he had everything fixed and ready to roll the minute I walked into the shop. If you have to get fancy for a special occasion, I highly recommend Men’s Wearhouse. They haven’t even paid me to say that, although perhaps I could work something out with their corporate office since I’m delivering literally tens of eyes to them for this pseudo commercial. Have your people call my people, Men’s Wearhouse.

-One of the biggest blessing of the weekend was the fact that there is an In-N-Out Burger in Tucson. There are few things in life more fulfilling than a Double-Double animal style. If you've never experienced In-N-Out, you really need to take a good hard look at your life and re-examine your priorities. It's a life changing burger, and I'm not even kidding.

-The Saguaro National Forest is a really cool place, it is home to some gigantic Saguaro cacti, and I highly recommend checking it out if you're ever in Tucson. Very pretty.

If you happen to run across this guy in the desert, run. He is considered goofy and probably dangerous!

More Saguaro Beauty

Beauty and the Beast.

-I have to give my brother a little credit, the tux that he picked out wasn't cheap to rent, but it was easily the most comfortable tux I have ever worn.

-I got a little bit of a Nostradamus in me...Before the wedding I was talking with someone and said, "Something will go wrong, something always goes wrong with wedding ceremonies, that's part of what makes them memorable." I was of course correct...something did go wrong. My brother and his bride had arranged a ceremonial exchange of roses as a first gift to symbolize their love and when it was time for the roses...WHOOPS, they had been left upstairs, and were nowhere to be found. Thanks to some quick thinking by one of the bridesmaids, disaster was averted. She noticed that there were roses in one of the flower displays up front, she pulled a couple of roses from that vase, handed them to the couple, and BOOM, crisis averted. (I pulled out the BOOM in honor of John Madden retiring today.)

-I have decided that my little girl Ellie is maybe not the most ideal flower girl for a wedding. She and another little girl were the flower girls, and they walked in okay, although they accidentally walked around the front of the seating instead of down the aisle, but that worked. This biggest problem occurred when Ellie realized that the whole room was looking at her. Ellie is a bit shy, and when she realized that she was the focus of the entire audience, she got a little freaked out and started crying and had to be taken out of the room.

-My brother's wedding was well done, and the reception was fun, but if there was one thing to complain about, it was the DJ. This was one of the worst DJ's I had ever heard. He was playing a ton of schlocky 70's Singer/Songwriter garbage, and Bruce went over to him and asked him to knock it off, but the guy wouldn't know a good song if someone tossed an iPod at him. Sadly the dance wasn't all it could have been thanks to an inept DJ who seemed blissfully unaware that music has been written since 1978.

-I gave a toast to my brother, and someone said that it was more like a roast than a toast. I didn't mean for it to be that, so if I offended you Bruce or Melisa, I'm very sorry. I do wish you guys the best. I also ended it by saying, "Live long and prosper." Which was a very dorky Star Trek thing, and I totally didn't mean to do it, but it's something I'm going to have to live with since it happened. I don't know what I was thinking there, I couldn't have felt more nerdy if I had been wearing an official issue Starfleet Uniform.

Only a Goober like this would toast his brother and new sister-in-law by saying, "Live long and prosper."

-At the end of the day, my brother and his new wife were married, so I guess the mission was accomplished. George Bush didn't show up on the deck of an aircraft carrier to announce the mission was successful, but perhaps that's for the best anyway, as that didn't work out so great the last time it happened. I had a great time in Tucson, and I'm happy that my brother is happy. All the best to you guys. As my Jewish friends would say...Mazel Tov!

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