Championship Weekend Forecast:

Turn out the lights, the party's (almost) over.


I have heard that when the holidays end, may people go into a bit of a slump. All the waiting and anticipation for Christmas to come, all the preparations and the excitement over spending time with friends and family, all the Christmas trees and bright lights and presents and then, BAM. January. No more lights, no more excitement, no more carols, no more days off of work, no more reindeer, it all ends suddenly and all that is left is a long winter with little excitement in the near future. Depressing.

I do not experience this post holiday lull to this degree, sure I enjoy Christmas, but I don’t get so up for it that December 26th becomes a major bummer. I pretty much just get on with life, thankful for the Christmas that has passed. However, I am not without empathy for those with the post Christmas blues, as I experience my own version of this phenomenon at the beginning of February…the post Super Bowl blues.

You see, since mid-August, I have been feasting upon NFL football. It’s my favorite sport, and I spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking, reading, and watching football. Right now, we are in the midst of a great stretch, the playoffs, where every game is significant and the best teams are playing at their highest level with the most on the line. It is truly glorious. (It would be even better if my Broncos were part of the festivities, but like I said, the BEST teams are playing which precludes their participation.) But, as exciting and glorious as the playoffs are, the sad fact remains that as I write this, there are only three games remaining in the NFL season, and after this weekend, nothing but the Super Bowl. So, in this time of glory, I am already melancholy knowing that the long dark offseason awaits. The day after the Super Bowl is my December 26th. The offseason is so long and sad…let us enjoy the NFL while it is still around. In that spirit, here are my Championship Sunday predictions…

The NFC Championship game:
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Arizona Cardinals

Come on, I enjoy practical jokes as much as anybody, but hasn’t this whole, “The Arizona Cardinals are hosting the NFC Championship Game” charade gone on long enough? Let’s go ahead and get the New York Giants and do this thing right, eh? Wait? Seriously? The NFL is actually sanctioning this? Really? Okay, if you say so, I guess we’ll go with that…

I am going to write that out again because it’s been almost a week, and I still don’t completely believe it. Not only are the Arizona Cardinals IN the NFC Championship game, (Which by itself would be weird enough) but they are playing host. This thing is just goofy enough, that I am ready to fully embrace it. That’s right! I am throwing my support behind the NFC West Champion Arizona Cardinals. I sincerely hope that they win the whole thing. I want Larry Fitzgerald to go in the first two rounds of all fantasy drafts next year, I want Kurt Warner in the Hall of Fame, heck, I even love the color red. I’m on board the Cardinals train, now. I love AZ.

I am definitely more in support of this reformed train wreck from the desert than the Iggles for one simple reason. Philadelphia fans. I have met a lot of fans from opposing teams in my decades of going to Broncos games, but no single group of fans has ever been more obnoxious than the Philly fans when my brother and I went to a regular season Broncos-Eagles game in 2005. We are just walking to our seats, not talking any smack as I bear no ill will to the Eagles and a few of these nimrods run over to us and start yelling at us, questioning our manhood, and randomly berating us because we dared not have the same favorite team as them. Then at our seats, there were several Eagles fans nearby who were obnoxious throughout the entire game. They were mocking us, even as their team was falling behind by 28 points. The Eagles scored three quick touchdowns to make it 28-21, and the abuse was hot and heavy, even though they were still trailing. That was one of my most satisfying Broncos games, ever, though. Because after it briefly got close, the Broncos exploded and ended up winning 49-21. Finally, after having their team beaten into submission, at the end of the game they left quietly. That happy image of obnoxious people leaving the game sad still brings a smile to my face to this day. That is why I am rooting against Philly. Not because I hate the Eagles, I just want their fans to be unhappy because they were that insufferable.

That said, do I expect Arizona to win? No. No, I do not. Philadelphia has been riding a hot streak remarkably similar to the Giants last year, and I fully expect them to win, because I am not sure the world is ready for a Super Bowl in which the Arizona Cardinals are prominently involved. Plus, the Cardinals have been ridiculously fortunate thus far in the playoffs they have forced nine turnovers in the past two games. I don’t anticipate that they will continue to average four and a half takeaways against the Eagles. Because, unfortunately for the Cardinals, Jake Delhomme will not be involved in this contest for the Eagles. They played earlier this season and the Eagles dominated 48-20. Granted it was a Thanksgiving night game, and the Cards had a very short week and then had to travel to play the Eagles making it very difficult, and they are at home this time, but I don’t think they have what it takes. I think that the Cards keep it closer, but don’t do enough to win. Creating a situation in which a team that tied the Bengals represents the NFC in the Super Bowl. Weird season, eh?

Make mine, Philadelphia 31 Arizona 21


The AFC Championship Game:
Baltimore Ravens vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

This game is generally considered to be the better game of the weekend, but I question that. We are looking at two teams with suffocating defenses and competent but hardly amazing offenses. If you like low scoring, defensive battles, this will be right up your alley. If you don’t like games with the potential for a final score of 6-3, perhaps this won’t be your favorite game ever. It has the potential to be a classic or a snooze fest. I’m hoping for the former.

I like the Steelers in this game because I think they are peaking right now. They looked like a force of nature against the Chargers. The only thing that scares me is that Pittsburgh is due for a stinker game, as they haven’t laid an egg for too long, and they have a history of wetting the bed in Championship games at home that they should have won. Could I see that happening this time? Sure, because the Ravens are a quality squad and they have already played two ridiculously close games this year which the Steelers won late both times.

The reason I am not picking the Steelers to fall apart at home is because of how the Ravens played last weekend. The Titans are a very similar team to the Steelers, and the Ravens were dominated last week by Tennessee. The Titans killed themselves with several turnovers in the red zone, and just enough boneheaded plays that they managed to lose a game by all rights they should have won. Plus, if the referees had called a delay of game penalty when they should have, I’m not sure that Baltimore is even playing this weekend. A team can get all the breaks like the Cardinals getting nine turnovers or the Ravens getting ALL the breaks, but after awhile, these breaks tend to even out. You can only be lucky for so long, and I feel like the luck runs out on the banks of the three rivers for the Ravens.

I am calling it, Pittsburgh 16 Baltimore 13

Dream a (weird) little dream...

Memorial Stadium in Manhattan, Kansas: Future home of the NFC Championship Game?

I had a dream so vivid and clear last night that I still remember it here at work a few hours later. If dreams come in High-Def, this one definitely cost extra on my dream-cable subscription. Not only was it clear, but it had tons of details that are both random and also strangely applicable to life in America today as a football fan, only the details are completely bizarre and random in the traditional peculiar way of dreams.

The basic premise of my dream was that the New York Giants and Arizona Cardinals were playing a football game of some significance in the small Kansas town in which I went to college: Manhattan, Kansas. This would be weird enough to be playing an NFL game in a college town in Kansas, but at least Manhattan is home to a Big 12 school with a stadium (Wagner Field) that can hold over fifty thousand people and houses big college games each fall. However, this dream was even odder in that they were playing this game in Memorial Stadium, the old football stadium built in the 1920’s with a maximum capacity at it’s apex of only 20,000 people and a stadium which today looks more like an ancient ruin than a sports venue. At the time I was going to school there in the late nineties, the stadium was merely a glorified park, and the most intense games that took place there were pickup games of ultimate Frisbee. I haven’t been to Manhattan in years, so it’s possible that it’s been renovated or used for events since then, but in my memories, it was pretty much not a stadium anymore and is DEFINITELY the least likely place for a significant NFL game to take place.

However, in my dream, the Giants and Cardinals were going to play a game there. In the annoying way of dreams, I was never provided with details as to how or why it was decided that hosting an NFL game in Memorial Stadium was a good idea, but despite this aggravating lack of explanation, the game was going to take place. In real life, this would be a logistical nightmare, as the amount of people crowding a small Kansas town for an NFL game would cause unspeakable gridlock and parking would be impossible, however, in my dream my friend Doug, my wife and I decided that we would drive to the game, even though it was less than a mile away. There was plenty of parking and the streets were practically deserted. We found parking right near the stadium and walked right in. We arrived late to the game, because I was insistent that I balance my checkbook before we left for the game so we didn’t arrive at the game until midway through the second quarter.

When we did finally arrive at Memorial Stadium, it was full but not overflowing. Another odd thing that I noticed when we arrived at the game was that the entire crowd was decked out in Denver Broncos gear; this was odd for two reasons. Reason #1: The Broncos were not playing and Reason #2: In eastern Kansas when little children utter the words Denver Broncos their parents will wash their mouths out with soap. That is to say, the Broncos are not a popular team there, so the idea that the townsfolk would show up anywhere in Broncos gear is a highly unlikely proposition.

The stadium was not packed and it was relatively easy to get to our seats. We even moved up a few seats to be closer to the field, although we didn’t have the best seats in the house as we were sitting behind the end zone. When we finally showed up to the game (with me being happy because my checkbook was, in fact, balanced) the score of the game was Giants 10 Cardinals 9, but the Cardinals had the ball inside the 20 of the Giants and looked about ready to score. The game was in a delay when we arrived and although the details were sketchy on the precise details, the gist of what I was able to discern from my dream is that it was in a delay because an Arizona player had just made a big play to get their team into the red zone (that’s inside the 20 yard line for you non-football fans) and to celebrate this big play, he had released some type of iridescent sparkly dark red liquid all over the field, so the game was being delayed to clean up the mess. The mess was nearly cleaned up when we got into our seats, and the referee was explaining that there was a penalty against this Cardinal’s player for excessive celebration. After the penalty was called Tom Coughlin, the coach of the Giants, angrily rushed out onto the field and declined the penalty because he said, “Players should be allowed to celebrate.” At this point, I remember yelling out loudly, “Man, I love Tom Coughlin!” (A few points of clarity from me now that I am awake, I do NOT believe players should be allowed to celebrate by littering the field with iridescent goo, I cannot imagine that Tom Coughlin would decline a 15 yard penalty at any time but especially when his opponent was 13 yards away from a touchdown, and finally I do not actually love Tom Coughlin.)

After all the penalty declining and iridescent goo clean up was completed it was third down and eleven, for some reason. And no, that doesn’t make sense, but if you’ve read to this point, you will have to concede that making sense was not a high priority for this dream. Kurt Warner dropped back to pass and the Giants sacked him and he fumbled and the ball was recovered by the Giants who ran the ball back eighty yards for a touchdown. At this point the entire stadium erupted in cheers, as for some reason a stadium full of people from eastern Kansas who were decked out in Broncos gear were apparently all Giants fans. After the extra point, the lights went out in the stadium, and the glow from the street lights that stayed on created a strange glow on the field, which I realized was not a field at all, but was actually more like a wrestling mat type surface. I noticed this odd fact, but thought nothing of it. At this point, I realized what a great photo opportunity I had, so I turned to the guy behind me to ask him to take a picture of my wife and me. The guy behind us was in a tussle with a toddler at first, but he agreed to take my picture, so I had to wait until he got the child under control which he quickly did. After the commotion died down, I went to show him the button he would need to press in order to take the picture, but as I went to do so, my alarm clock went off and the dream came to a screeching halt.

So that was my dream, and much like Pharaoh needed Joseph to translate his dreams about the sheaves of wheat and the fat and skinny cows, I feel the need to understand what this all means. In real life the Cardinals and Giants are both playing this coming weekend, although not against each other. Does my dream mean that they will both win and end up in the NFC Championship? I doubt it, as I think the Panthers will defeat the Cardinals, but wouldn’t it be weird if it ended up that they DID play each other in the NFC Championship game? Why was the game in Manhattan, Kansas? How come they were playing on gym mats? Is memorial stadium going to be used for an important NFL game in the near future? So many questions, when in all likelihood, I just had a weird dream after eating too much Peppermint Popcorn before bed. I don’t know, but I can say without a doubt that this was the clearest I can remember a dream, even if it makes ZERO sense.