The weather has been gorgeous here in Denver over the past days with temperatures pushing into the 70's. This has been good news in almost every way except one. I work downtown, and when the weather gets nice, a scourge of canvassers hit the Sixteenth Street Mall seeking suckers who they can talk to in order to solicit funds for their various causes.
Well, yesterday to my delight, the weather was beautiful, and just like ants to a picnic, the goofy blue shirts were crawling all over the mall. I knew my time had come, and I was ready. I walked past the ESPN Zone and the two canvassers standing in front of it. I was ready to break out my secret weapon, and almost giddy with anticipation. Much to my chagrin, the first time I walked past, they were chatting with each other and didn't even give me a second glance. Ordinarily, I would have taken this as a fortuitous break, and walked quickly past, but yesterday I slowly moped along. I may have even been moseying. Despite my slowed pace, I didn't even get a nibble, so I walked across the street to my favorite hot dog stand. (An amazing superhero of a street vendor called Biker Jim who sells without a doubt the world most delicious hot dog.)
After a quick lunch of Jalapeno Elk Sausage, I made my way back across the street even intentionally crossing to the other side of the street so that I would be on the same side as my Greenpeace friends. I had my headphones on, but my demeanor was much more friendly and approachable because for the first time ever, I actually wanted to engage them. A young idealist woman in her early twenties, she approached me and did the wavy hand thing. I wasn't looking at her, because I wanted to play moderately hard to get in order to avoid completely giving away that for the first time ever I was armed for this battle.
"Hi, how are you?" she said in a way that was so pleasant I almost felt bad about how well this converation was going to go for me.
"I'm good, Thanks." I replied and then before she even had a chance to begin her spiel followed that up with, "You're a conservationist, right?"
She looked at me slightly confused as if she didn't quite understand what I meant, which to be fair, she wouldn't understand for a few more seconds. She did answer me with a hopeful almost excited, "Why yes, I am!"
This was going perfectly, and she was set up for the kill.
"That's perfect, because right now, you can save your breath."
As her jaw dropped and she tried to stammer some type of response, I walked away with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.